Yesterday, a beautiful, intelligent, humble, wonderful woman believed that it was necessary to take a shotgun and end her own life. She was a friend to me, a friend to my family, and the last thing I remember her saying to me when she visited last summer was "You have such a beautiful family." She kept saying it, over and over, as if I was not really hearing what she was saying. I kept saying, "Thank you," but I remember seeing something in her eyes....maybe a longing for what she didn't have. She was successful and brilliant, and had one serious relationship in her life, but never married and never had children. She always seemed full of life and content with the way life had worked out for her. I remember thinking the last time we sat around the table together...I wonder if she knows Jesus. We had never talked about it directly, and I remember feeling afraid to tell her my testimony because the subject never really came up. I remember thinking that some day, I might sit with her and tell her how Jesus had changed my life, and what great joy and hope (and even my beautiful family) had come from him saving me from depression and hopelessness. She knew me when I was still troubled, and I believe that day as she left our house, she was trying to tell me she noticed the great change in my life....but we never really had that conversation about Jesus. I guess I always thought we would have more time, another chance....later.
Last night, as I lay in bed and remembered her wonderful smile and fascinating conversations, I thought of how a brilliant, successful woman with an awesome career....could be so miserable that she wanted to shoot herself with a shotgun. The brutality of the suicide yesterday is what affected me most. Did she just want to make sure that the job was done right? She was successful at everything else, after all...or did she want to punish herself in some way? I learned from my mother that they had been having conversations about the rough times she was having after losing her mother and sister, and that she had been in counseling recently.
Then, my heart began to delve much deeper in introspection of my faith and my calling and my purpose....God called me out of the depths of deep depression, even being suicidal, He healed deep wounds that no medication or counselor ever could. I had been in group therapy, individual therapy, and on medication for years for depression. When I was saved by Jesus Christ, I never had to take another pill, and I never saw another counselor besides the great Counselor of the Holy Spirit. I feel a need today to speak life into dark situations and to tell others that there is a hope in Jesus that they could never imagine until they accept Him as Savior and Lord. I had been drinking since I was 13 years old, and in that day, God took away my desire for all alcohol. I had been drinking to numb the constant pain, discouragement and hopelessness (plus guilt, anxiety and fear about the future) that I constantly lived with each and every day. I had tried everything at that point to make my own life better, and found that nothing I ever did brought relief...which propelled me further into hopelessness. I know that feelings that my friend was facing yesterday....a deep abyss that you feel you can never climb out of. But just like her, I could always laugh in others' company and be "normal." But at home, I would think about the reasons why I should NOT end my life, and for several years, there was only one reason....my daughter Mariah. I lived for her, and her presence in my life probably kept me for awhile from committing suicide like my friend. I thank God every day that when it seemed my whole life had crumbled, my marriage was totally failing, I was still drinking, and I was the worst mom I could imagine (in my own mind)....that God reached out me and I took His hand by accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior...and He lifted me up from that pit. I remember waking up the next day after I had prayed for God to save me, and believed in my heart that Jesus would save me....I felt a peace in my heart I had never experienced in the 24 years of life before that. I felt warmth running through my veins (an actual feeling at the time)....and I immediately began to realize that all my sins in life had been washed away. I had a true second chance....it was not a strategy to hide the pain, or cover up the hurt with medication....it was true FREEDOM from the pain.
So last night, I was laying there thinking about what God had done for me, and worshipping Him for the awesome deliverance He gave me....and I began to think...how many times have I not shared this love of Christ with others who desperately need the same rescue as me? How many times have I sat at a table with a close friend, a loved one, or even run into a stranger who needed to know that God loved them so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for them on the cross. They needed to know that God was for them and not against them....they needed to know that there was HOPE, LOVE, and that FAITH could move any mountain that stood before them. I am a living, walking, breathing testimony of what Jesus can do in a person's life....and the HOPE that only He can give to someone who desperately needs a new life, a way out of present circumstances, and they need Him to lift the burdens of discouragement, hopelessness, pain and suffering from their lives. I began to think about the times that I have been through something difficult AFTER accepting Jesus Christ, and how God has given me the peace that surpasses all understanding, and guarded my heart from that sinking depression....He not only brought me out of the pit, but He keeps me from going back in. So, as I sit here and know that I will never see this beautiful friend again....that she chose in her hopelessness to take her own life, that it is I that needs to change my game plan in life. I need to begin to pray that God would give me an incredible boldness, that I would fearlessly speak the gospel of hope through Jesus Christ to each and every person He puts in front of me. I will no longer allow fear to keep me from giving them the HOPE that they so desperately seek, and need for survival. I have let the ways of the world, and my fear of man keep this message bottled up inside of me (even if some disagree, you ain't seen nothing yet)....I have not spoken it out like God has given me the power to do so, and there are so many hurting, suffering people in this world that need God's salvation through Jesus, but they also need more than anything - His power to walk out the rest of this life in peace and joy, without the burdens of their sins or past hurts...their own failures and discouragements....they need God's Presence to keep living. Otherwise, one day, they will take matters into their own hands and take their own pain away....but the real pain for those of us who know God and lose someone to the hand of Satan is that we know that they will be in eternal pain. They will eternally suffer away from the Presence of the only One who can give them everlasting love, peace, joy and hope. It is Satan's trickery to make someone believe that committing suicide will end pain, when really, the true pain that lasts for an eternity has just begun. This is one that I hope deep in my heart somehow had accepted Christ as her Savior, but I also know that her death is like the seed that goes into the ground and dies, so that the plant that rises up can bear much fruit. I am going to take her death as a catalyst to speak the gospel fearlessly....and not let Satan have one more of my friends or family without putting up a good fight in both speech and the prayers of a warrior.
I know God can heal, restore, and save someone from this because He healed me, restored me, and SAVED me. This is my testimony, and I pray that all my friends and family will take the time to read it.
God bless each and every one of you with a hope that never dies....
Sarah
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Fear or Faith?
Recently, the Lord has really been showing me through His Word how many different ways FEAR affects our lives, and the crippling effects it has on our FAITH. After an amazing night of prayer in 2007, I remember a good friend of mine, and a woman of God that I respected...telling me that I had been delivered from FEAR. All my life I had struggled with fears and anxieties (fear's cousin) about different things, what would happen to me, how I would live, what turn my life would take next...I was afraid of other things too, such as people attacking me, invaders of our home...I was afraid to walk to my car at night, I was afraid to go to sleep for most of my life. I was crippled by fear of things, fear of people, and fear of what could happen to me.
I remember that night, after having an amazing night of prayer and being baptized in the Holy Spirit, I felt free from fear for the first time in my life. I walked outside the little chapel where we prayed, and I said to my friend, "I am not afraid." You see, fear had become such a part of my daily living that I did not know or expect anything else. I just lived with it. It was a bondage to me and caused me considerable stress (and sleepless nights)...but there was so much to it that I still didn't understand. You see, I received the spirit of fear because (FIRST) I was not in a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ, I did not have peace with him. (SECOND) I was afraid of death and dying, so anything that threatened my life or health terrified me. (THIRD) I tried to control everything in life for FEAR that it would not work out right, and I would be left alone and suffering. And...I might end up dying because I couldn't provide the needed things for myself or my family. But the way FEAR has been revealed me to most recently is that it has controlled my life since I was a child in the FEAR of man. This means that I live in such a way as to gain man's approval. Now, many of you would disagree with me on that statement, as I have often rebelled in life and seemed to care very little about other's thoughts or opinions, but the truth is that I have lived with such a fear of man that it controls and grips every part of my life. It is fear of man that is driving many of my decisions, not the fear of God.
Through recent Bible study with my beloved husband, Jeff, God has revealed this stronghold on my life and is showing me the freedom that lies on the other side...when I fear God above man and give Him the exclusive rights to make decisions in my life, no matter what those around me think I should be doing. It is the freedom that I have always desired, yet never knew how to have. I know the scripture that says we are not given a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love, and of a sound mind. Well, the sound mind, the power, the love - they all come from trusting Jesus alone as my Source and my Provider. I have been gripped in this fear of man for so long that I didn't even know it was the source of so many of my anxieties in life. I wanted to please and gain favor from those around me, and I wanted them to show their approval of me.
Today, I declare I am FREE from this fear of rejection, need for approval, and fear of man's opinions. God is the on the throne of my life, and He is the ruler of me. He is my Lord, meaning my Master in all things. As I have been studying how Paul was led by the Spirit to go on missionary trips in the book of Acts, and I meditate upon how the Spirit spoke to and led Paul, I begin to see similarities between Paul and myself. He loved his fellow men, the Jews, but they often rejected the message of salvation through Jesus Christ, and I am sure he felt pain over their rejection. But instead of allowing it to control him and lead his decisions, he leaned on the Lord to make those decisions for him. He went places because the Lord told him to. He left places because the Lord said his time was over. He followed the Lord in preaching the gospel to the Jews and then the Gentiles (not his people by birth). I am sure there were those who would have loved for him to do what THEY wanted him to do, but he had such a committment to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, that he did not allow their desires to overcome his fear of God. He allowed God to be on the throne of his life, and I am going to do the same.
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (NKJV):
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."
Philippians 3:12-16 (NKJV):
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to that degree that we have already attained, let us walk by that same rule, let us be of the same mind."
God bless you all!
Sarah
Friday, December 11, 2009
A Breaking Point...
I have thought many times in the past few months about writing a blog post....I can't even list the number of reasons I came up with NOT to write...perhaps, in the past season there was such uplifting stories of God's goodness, greatness, and miraculous intervention in our life to share, and this season has been one of deep trials, heartaches, and refinement that seemed unbearable at times. But...God says He will never give us a burden that we cannot bear, which in our case, must mean we can bear a lot. However, when I start to throw a pity party for me and my family, I have to stop and reflect on all the ways God is still good even during times of hardship. When the money is running out, there is no place to call home, the bills keep stacking up, and enough just never seems to be enough....there is always the peace and joy of God that I receive through the Holy Spirit. He is always there to love me, comfort me, and guide me...even during the hardest moments of life. The Light of Jesus shines through the vast darkness in our lives, and He proves once again that He has made us overcomers, more than conquerers through His blood and His mighty Spirit. He really is the GREAT I AM! You may ask, what is He? Why do we continue to trust Him although everything seems to be headed downhill in our lives, and we are in the midst of chaos, lack, and suffering? Because if I take His name, I can put anything I want with it, and He becomes that to me...
I AM....your peace.
I AM....your joy.
I AM....your provider.
I AM....your teacher.
I AM....the source of forgiveness for all your sins through the blood of Jesus.
I AM....that still small voice in your heart that tells you "just trust ME."
I AM....your encourager.
I AM....your companion.
I AM....the one who loves your very soul.
I AM....your creator.
I AM....the beginning and the last word on everything.
I AM....the one who is Sovereign in all your circumstances.
I AM....anything and everything you need me to be!!!
I have been through many different emotions and thought processes, even struggled deeply with my own sinfulness during this season of my life. I have realized that my heart is calloused, I am unforgiving, ungrateful, selfish, critical, demanding, hypocritical and definitely NOT perfect!!! However, I can trust that I am being transformed day by day, and that Christ is renewing my mind, so that I don't have to forever be the way I am right now. God is the only way to have true and lasting freedom from my own sinful nature. It is through Christ's blood that I have freedom, and lasting joy. I am looking forward with all my heart to the day when I will stand before my Lord, face to face, and will once and for all be perfected in the image of Him. I no longer want to live my life day to day being obstinant to the fact that I have an enemy who has come only but to kill, steal and destroy my life, my joy and everything good that God can give me. But I have the truth of knowing that if Christ is for me, who can be against me. He will triumph, and it won't be because I am a good person, or do good deeds in my own strength, or somehow have made myself perfect through my own efforts. It will be because day after day, night after night, Christ has held true to the promise He made to me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is going to get me through to heaven if it kills me. I am thankful that He will crucify every bit of flesh in my body to save my soul. I can honestly say that I am learning to count it all joy when I face trials of many kinds.
James 1:2-4 (NKJV): "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NKJV): "For now we seen in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face."
Phillipians 3:7-9 (NKJV): "But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;"
I hope that this blog post reminds you that wherever you find yourself in life today, if God is with you and for you, nothing and no one can be against you. Once we have accepted Christ for our salvation, through His righteous blood sacrifice, then we are no longer righteous in ourselves, believing ourselves to be "good people," but we trust completely in him to finish the work He started when He created us, drew us to Himself, and gave us salvation through His atoning blood. He alone is righteous. Ask Him today to come into your life, your heart, confess you sins to Him, repent, and believe in Jesus' name as the only way to receive salvation, and He will walk beside you all the days of your life. God bless you in Jesus' name with the hearing of His Word, and the accompanying faith that you receive.
Reminded of His Grace,
Sarah
I AM....your peace.
I AM....your joy.
I AM....your provider.
I AM....your teacher.
I AM....the source of forgiveness for all your sins through the blood of Jesus.
I AM....that still small voice in your heart that tells you "just trust ME."
I AM....your encourager.
I AM....your companion.
I AM....the one who loves your very soul.
I AM....your creator.
I AM....the beginning and the last word on everything.
I AM....the one who is Sovereign in all your circumstances.
I AM....anything and everything you need me to be!!!
I have been through many different emotions and thought processes, even struggled deeply with my own sinfulness during this season of my life. I have realized that my heart is calloused, I am unforgiving, ungrateful, selfish, critical, demanding, hypocritical and definitely NOT perfect!!! However, I can trust that I am being transformed day by day, and that Christ is renewing my mind, so that I don't have to forever be the way I am right now. God is the only way to have true and lasting freedom from my own sinful nature. It is through Christ's blood that I have freedom, and lasting joy. I am looking forward with all my heart to the day when I will stand before my Lord, face to face, and will once and for all be perfected in the image of Him. I no longer want to live my life day to day being obstinant to the fact that I have an enemy who has come only but to kill, steal and destroy my life, my joy and everything good that God can give me. But I have the truth of knowing that if Christ is for me, who can be against me. He will triumph, and it won't be because I am a good person, or do good deeds in my own strength, or somehow have made myself perfect through my own efforts. It will be because day after day, night after night, Christ has held true to the promise He made to me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is going to get me through to heaven if it kills me. I am thankful that He will crucify every bit of flesh in my body to save my soul. I can honestly say that I am learning to count it all joy when I face trials of many kinds.
James 1:2-4 (NKJV): "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NKJV): "For now we seen in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face."
Phillipians 3:7-9 (NKJV): "But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;"
I hope that this blog post reminds you that wherever you find yourself in life today, if God is with you and for you, nothing and no one can be against you. Once we have accepted Christ for our salvation, through His righteous blood sacrifice, then we are no longer righteous in ourselves, believing ourselves to be "good people," but we trust completely in him to finish the work He started when He created us, drew us to Himself, and gave us salvation through His atoning blood. He alone is righteous. Ask Him today to come into your life, your heart, confess you sins to Him, repent, and believe in Jesus' name as the only way to receive salvation, and He will walk beside you all the days of your life. God bless you in Jesus' name with the hearing of His Word, and the accompanying faith that you receive.
Reminded of His Grace,
Sarah
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Washed by the Word...What a Sweet Aroma!
Today, it was one of those very practical moments when the Lord illuminated His Word in my heart and showed me an amazing principle. I have the very unglamourous job of being a stay at home mom, living with my parents temporarily, so that means doing laundry daily for six (soon to be more) people. I used to hate doing laundry, but over time, have grown to love the tedious job of washing, drying and folding! Today, as I grabbed a garment out of the dryer, I took a moment to hold it to my face and breathe in the fresh clean scent...it pleased me. Then, this message started building in my heart....I thought of how God says He washes us in the Word to make us pure and clean, and then I thought....after we are washed and purified by His cleansing blood, what a sweet smelling aroma we give off. It is the aroma of Christ to a dying world. It is an aroma of purity, cleanliness, holiness and truth. Oh, how the Father must to love breathe in the freshness of how He has recreated us in Christ's image. The Word also says that our prayers are like incense going up before the throne of God. He showed me all this through a normal day of doing laundry....pretty amazing, God!
As I began to meditate on how God cleanses us, He gave me a few scriptures to share with you all to illustrate this principle:
Ephesians 5:25-27 (NKJV):
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and without blemish."
The thought that came to me is that clothes go through a process of being washed for impurities, stains, etc. then they are dried to make them without wrinkle or blemish. In the process of laundry, the articles of clothing are covered in the water (Word of God) and then they are put into a spin cycle. Have you ever been in a spin cycle when God was washing YOU by His Word? I sure have felt that way. Then...He takes us out of the washer after spinning and throws us into this HOT dryer....and spins us some more! Finally, like the clothes we wash, we are taken out of the dryer, spotless and wrinkle-free and folded to be useful to the people who need us most!
Ezekiel 36:24-26 (NKJV):
"For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Also,
2 Corinthians 7:1-3 (NKJV):
"Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
Isaiah 1:18 (NKJV):
"Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
Although there are many scriptures speaking of the cleansing that God performs in our bodies, hearts and souls, this is the last one to mention here:
Hebrews 10:19-23 (NKJV):
"Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way, which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."
The first thing we must do is submit our lives and hearts to God, confessing that He alone (through the blood of Jesus) can wash away all of our impurities, our sin, and our evil conscience. We must come to Him by faith in His Word, and His promise of salvation from eternal damnation for our sins, and we must SUBMIT to Him putting us through the process of sanctification (purifying us, making us holy). We must allow Him to throw us into the washing machine, and we must perservere, so that one day we come out the dryer spotless, without wrinkle or blemish, and smelling of the sweet aroma of Christ.
This may change the way you perceive doing laundry, forever. May God bless you today with faith upon the hearing of His Word, and may He bring you into acknowledging that you need His free gift of salvation, and the following process of sanctification to become whole and clean in His sight. May God grant you peace with Him today in Jesus' name. Amen.
God bless you!
Sarah
As I began to meditate on how God cleanses us, He gave me a few scriptures to share with you all to illustrate this principle:
Ephesians 5:25-27 (NKJV):
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and without blemish."
The thought that came to me is that clothes go through a process of being washed for impurities, stains, etc. then they are dried to make them without wrinkle or blemish. In the process of laundry, the articles of clothing are covered in the water (Word of God) and then they are put into a spin cycle. Have you ever been in a spin cycle when God was washing YOU by His Word? I sure have felt that way. Then...He takes us out of the washer after spinning and throws us into this HOT dryer....and spins us some more! Finally, like the clothes we wash, we are taken out of the dryer, spotless and wrinkle-free and folded to be useful to the people who need us most!
Ezekiel 36:24-26 (NKJV):
"For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Also,
2 Corinthians 7:1-3 (NKJV):
"Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
Isaiah 1:18 (NKJV):
"Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
Although there are many scriptures speaking of the cleansing that God performs in our bodies, hearts and souls, this is the last one to mention here:
Hebrews 10:19-23 (NKJV):
"Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way, which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."
The first thing we must do is submit our lives and hearts to God, confessing that He alone (through the blood of Jesus) can wash away all of our impurities, our sin, and our evil conscience. We must come to Him by faith in His Word, and His promise of salvation from eternal damnation for our sins, and we must SUBMIT to Him putting us through the process of sanctification (purifying us, making us holy). We must allow Him to throw us into the washing machine, and we must perservere, so that one day we come out the dryer spotless, without wrinkle or blemish, and smelling of the sweet aroma of Christ.
This may change the way you perceive doing laundry, forever. May God bless you today with faith upon the hearing of His Word, and may He bring you into acknowledging that you need His free gift of salvation, and the following process of sanctification to become whole and clean in His sight. May God grant you peace with Him today in Jesus' name. Amen.
God bless you!
Sarah
Friday, August 28, 2009
Forgiveness is Freedom in Christ
The past few days of this week, the Lord has really touched my heart in a way that was unexpected and yet incredibly productive...He brought on correction. I know when we hear of correction from the Lord, it makes us sort of cringe because you never quite know how the Lord will bring conviction and correction into your life. The strangest thing about correction is that often, you know there is something wrong in your life, but you can't quite put your finger on it...and then suddenly, that glorious Light shines into a dark place in your life and reveals TRUTH. The truth is that, no matter how much of a "good Christian" you are, there is always an area that God is working on...and He is seeking to deliver you from some bondage of sinful living. The Bible calls this "sanctification." I believe that many people do not come to Christ for fear of this Light shining in on their lives, day and night. I believe that people who have accepted Christ sometimes make a foolish attempt to hide from God's revealing Light and they end up in a dark corner of life somewhere, crying out in pain and suffering that God never intended for them. Well, this is what happened to me, and I feel inclined to share it with you all this morning.
I went to a wonderful sermon this past Sunday which spoke about the attitudes of our hearts toward others. The man of God spoke of how we harbor bitterness, anger and judgmental thoughts towards other which ultimately lead to our own suffering, and the destruction of vital relationships in our lives. As I sat there, I felt as though I wanted to climb out of my chair and leave the building, but I could feel the Presence of God holding me to my seat. It was painful and it was definitely correction. You see, for the last few months (and even longer), I have been hurt by many people in my life. I have been hurt by my parents, family and even my own husband. There has been so much pain surrounding the events of my life, and then the reproaches of infertility, lack of money, and overall shame surrounded my life, my marriage and my family. To say the least, it has been a pretty tough year of walking with the Lord. The problem is the sinful nature in me just keeps trying to take over the place of the Holy Spirit in my life. The enemy loves to tell me that it is ok to think nasty thoughts about people because they have hurt me so much. It is ok to harbor bitterness and anger toward them, and think judgmental thoughts as long as they see the love of Christ emenating through me toward them. Knowing, by the Word of God, that these attitudes are wrong is one thing....changing them is quite another.
I remember one day, over a year ago, when the Lord spoke to me about something very hurtful my husband had done. He presented me with a scenario and then gave me a choice. He said "Sarah, imagine the person that hurt you the most in your life, and then imagine that someone is going to kill that person...and I ask you to take the bullet, and die in their place, thus allowing them to live a longer fuller life...would you do it?"
HMMM....good question Lord.
Then the Lord began to explain his question...He explained to me that I was that person that had hurt Him so deeply and that He was given this choice of dying in my place, thus allowing me to live a longer, fuller live in Him. He said that I should forgive others as He has forgiven me. He validated that my husband had indeed made mistakes and hurt me deeply, along with my friends, family and even strangers. Just as all have hurt Him through the deep wounds of committing sin in their lives. He made the concept of forgiveness very tangible and applicable to my everyday life.
Well, that day, I decided that I was going to be a forgiving person and I asked God to please help me to forgive all those who have hurt me in the past by the power of the Holy Spirit. For months after, I found myself forgiving people supernaturally, even though circumstances seem to increase in painfulness and the forgiveness got harder to maintain...but by God's grace, I kept going. My relationships with others started to experience new life, new growth and deeper intensity. Even though the circumstances were bad, I could see God working in my life and in the lives of those around me. It was glorious.
Which brings me full circle to where I stood this past Sunday in church. Somehow, over time, I got comfortable in being able to forgive people in my own strength. I began to think, this is always going to be this easy, and I am so strong in the Lord that I will not struggle with this anymore. WRONG!!! The next thing I knew, my husband had made another decision with which I did not agree, and it turned out changing our whole quality of life and circumstances, and in the blink of an eye, I found myself in a terrible place of bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. I wandered away from reading the Word of God, I didn't pray as much as I used to, and I just tried to hide in my sin and throw a "pity party" for myself. The enemy's voice crept back in and continually encouraged me that I was right in how I felt because I had been wronged. That brutal nature of unforgiveness began to permeate every area of my life. Although things looked alright for me spiritually, I was tormented inside with the thought that I didn't want to feel this way anymore, but I didn't know how to change. Every time I tried to forgive in my own strength, I just fell deeper into the pit. I told my husband I was sorry for my thoughts, confessed them, and said I forgave him, but I couldn't shake the unforgiveness.
So this past Sunday, God began to heal me and free me from this bondage I had been under before. I was becoming entangled again in the yoke of slavery, but my God is good, and came to my rescue! He brought correction that showed me that only He was able to set me free. He spoke through the darkness and told me that I just needed to confess to Him that I was unable to redeem myself and free myself from this bondage of sin, and that He would rescue me, YET AGAIN! But doing that was harder than I imagined. I still wanted Him to speak to my husband about how badly he had hurt me, and God surprised me with his answer. I wrote a friend asking for prayer for my husband, and she responded with a word from the Lord FOR ME. It was telling me that God was speaking to my husband, but it was ME that needed to stop getting in the way of the progress God was making in his life. It instantly reduced me to tears. God showed me that He had already stepped in to make necessary changes in my husband, and I had become a stumbling block in the way of His work. Having had such favor of God in my life the past year, and His great approval, it was incredibly hard to realize that I had gone so far into my sinful thinking that I was now causing problems to His great work. Thankfully, his plans and purposes do not depend on my faithfulness, but on His power. As I cried, I confessed the thoughts and attitudes I had toward Jeff, and with amazing grace, he said to me "It's ok, I know you don't mean to be mean and wicked" and just like that, he forgave me and comforted me...the one who was now hurting him.
This whole ordeal has brought me closer to my husband, closer to my family, and closer to God. Was it good that I wandered from the truth? NO. Was it amazing and a powerful testimony of God's intent and power to redeem me...YES. I learned a huge lesson through all this...God intends for us to remain in the freedom to which we are called in Him. Even when we stumble, He is there to correct us in LOVE, and bring us back to the truth which ultimately SETS US FREE! He finished off this correction and teaching with this one scripture:
Luke 6:36-38 (NKJV):
"Therefore, be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given unto you: good measure, pressed down, shaken down, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."
What a word of encouragement this morning to all those who struggle, as I have, with judgment, condemnation and unforgiveness of others. May God bless you and keep you, as He constantly works to ensure your freedom in Him. For the Word of God says:
John 8:35-36 (NKJV):
"And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
God bless you with faith upon hearing His Word, and grant you the power to forgive and give unto others as you would hope to receive from the Father....that is truly the "golden rule."
Love you all!
In Christ's love and freedom,
Sarah
I went to a wonderful sermon this past Sunday which spoke about the attitudes of our hearts toward others. The man of God spoke of how we harbor bitterness, anger and judgmental thoughts towards other which ultimately lead to our own suffering, and the destruction of vital relationships in our lives. As I sat there, I felt as though I wanted to climb out of my chair and leave the building, but I could feel the Presence of God holding me to my seat. It was painful and it was definitely correction. You see, for the last few months (and even longer), I have been hurt by many people in my life. I have been hurt by my parents, family and even my own husband. There has been so much pain surrounding the events of my life, and then the reproaches of infertility, lack of money, and overall shame surrounded my life, my marriage and my family. To say the least, it has been a pretty tough year of walking with the Lord. The problem is the sinful nature in me just keeps trying to take over the place of the Holy Spirit in my life. The enemy loves to tell me that it is ok to think nasty thoughts about people because they have hurt me so much. It is ok to harbor bitterness and anger toward them, and think judgmental thoughts as long as they see the love of Christ emenating through me toward them. Knowing, by the Word of God, that these attitudes are wrong is one thing....changing them is quite another.
I remember one day, over a year ago, when the Lord spoke to me about something very hurtful my husband had done. He presented me with a scenario and then gave me a choice. He said "Sarah, imagine the person that hurt you the most in your life, and then imagine that someone is going to kill that person...and I ask you to take the bullet, and die in their place, thus allowing them to live a longer fuller life...would you do it?"
HMMM....good question Lord.
Then the Lord began to explain his question...He explained to me that I was that person that had hurt Him so deeply and that He was given this choice of dying in my place, thus allowing me to live a longer, fuller live in Him. He said that I should forgive others as He has forgiven me. He validated that my husband had indeed made mistakes and hurt me deeply, along with my friends, family and even strangers. Just as all have hurt Him through the deep wounds of committing sin in their lives. He made the concept of forgiveness very tangible and applicable to my everyday life.
Well, that day, I decided that I was going to be a forgiving person and I asked God to please help me to forgive all those who have hurt me in the past by the power of the Holy Spirit. For months after, I found myself forgiving people supernaturally, even though circumstances seem to increase in painfulness and the forgiveness got harder to maintain...but by God's grace, I kept going. My relationships with others started to experience new life, new growth and deeper intensity. Even though the circumstances were bad, I could see God working in my life and in the lives of those around me. It was glorious.
Which brings me full circle to where I stood this past Sunday in church. Somehow, over time, I got comfortable in being able to forgive people in my own strength. I began to think, this is always going to be this easy, and I am so strong in the Lord that I will not struggle with this anymore. WRONG!!! The next thing I knew, my husband had made another decision with which I did not agree, and it turned out changing our whole quality of life and circumstances, and in the blink of an eye, I found myself in a terrible place of bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. I wandered away from reading the Word of God, I didn't pray as much as I used to, and I just tried to hide in my sin and throw a "pity party" for myself. The enemy's voice crept back in and continually encouraged me that I was right in how I felt because I had been wronged. That brutal nature of unforgiveness began to permeate every area of my life. Although things looked alright for me spiritually, I was tormented inside with the thought that I didn't want to feel this way anymore, but I didn't know how to change. Every time I tried to forgive in my own strength, I just fell deeper into the pit. I told my husband I was sorry for my thoughts, confessed them, and said I forgave him, but I couldn't shake the unforgiveness.
So this past Sunday, God began to heal me and free me from this bondage I had been under before. I was becoming entangled again in the yoke of slavery, but my God is good, and came to my rescue! He brought correction that showed me that only He was able to set me free. He spoke through the darkness and told me that I just needed to confess to Him that I was unable to redeem myself and free myself from this bondage of sin, and that He would rescue me, YET AGAIN! But doing that was harder than I imagined. I still wanted Him to speak to my husband about how badly he had hurt me, and God surprised me with his answer. I wrote a friend asking for prayer for my husband, and she responded with a word from the Lord FOR ME. It was telling me that God was speaking to my husband, but it was ME that needed to stop getting in the way of the progress God was making in his life. It instantly reduced me to tears. God showed me that He had already stepped in to make necessary changes in my husband, and I had become a stumbling block in the way of His work. Having had such favor of God in my life the past year, and His great approval, it was incredibly hard to realize that I had gone so far into my sinful thinking that I was now causing problems to His great work. Thankfully, his plans and purposes do not depend on my faithfulness, but on His power. As I cried, I confessed the thoughts and attitudes I had toward Jeff, and with amazing grace, he said to me "It's ok, I know you don't mean to be mean and wicked" and just like that, he forgave me and comforted me...the one who was now hurting him.
This whole ordeal has brought me closer to my husband, closer to my family, and closer to God. Was it good that I wandered from the truth? NO. Was it amazing and a powerful testimony of God's intent and power to redeem me...YES. I learned a huge lesson through all this...God intends for us to remain in the freedom to which we are called in Him. Even when we stumble, He is there to correct us in LOVE, and bring us back to the truth which ultimately SETS US FREE! He finished off this correction and teaching with this one scripture:
Luke 6:36-38 (NKJV):
"Therefore, be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given unto you: good measure, pressed down, shaken down, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."
What a word of encouragement this morning to all those who struggle, as I have, with judgment, condemnation and unforgiveness of others. May God bless you and keep you, as He constantly works to ensure your freedom in Him. For the Word of God says:
John 8:35-36 (NKJV):
"And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."
God bless you with faith upon hearing His Word, and grant you the power to forgive and give unto others as you would hope to receive from the Father....that is truly the "golden rule."
Love you all!
In Christ's love and freedom,
Sarah
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Where I'm Going....
I will admit there have been many times along the way, walking with Jesus, where I have not known where I was going....this minute, hour, day, week or year! I have simply put one foot in front of the other and let the Light of the World (Jesus) be my guide through life. All week long, I have had a song in my heart and I wanted to share the lyrics here on my blog:
Where I'm Going (by Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton)
When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.
I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
(Chorus:)Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.
I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.
(Chorus)
So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.
But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.
Ultimately, no matter what I walk through with Jesus in this life, the end result is that I will BE with Jesus for all eternity! I will bask in His glory, and I will be forever in His Presence! There is no greater place to be going than this.
I love this scripture and since today is a day of sharing God's grace, I wanted to encourage you with it as well:
1 Corinthians 2:9-10 (NKJV):
"But as it is written:
'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man, The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.'
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God."
Oh, how I love those deep things of God the Spirit reveals to me. I believe the greatest joy in this life, even above my family and children, is the joy I have walking in the Spirit next to God.
I pray today that God would reveal to you by His Spirit those deep things He has prepared for those who love Him. He says that those who love Him will obey His commandments, so we must first consider if we do indeed LOVE Him, and then if we see that we do....we can know that there is nothing hidden that He will not reveal. May God bless you in Jesus' name with knowledge of Himself, and the revelation of His glory to you!
Sarah
Where I'm Going (by Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton)
When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.
I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
(Chorus:)Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.
I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.
(Chorus)
So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.
But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.
Ultimately, no matter what I walk through with Jesus in this life, the end result is that I will BE with Jesus for all eternity! I will bask in His glory, and I will be forever in His Presence! There is no greater place to be going than this.
I love this scripture and since today is a day of sharing God's grace, I wanted to encourage you with it as well:
1 Corinthians 2:9-10 (NKJV):
"But as it is written:
'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man, The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.'
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God."
Oh, how I love those deep things of God the Spirit reveals to me. I believe the greatest joy in this life, even above my family and children, is the joy I have walking in the Spirit next to God.
I pray today that God would reveal to you by His Spirit those deep things He has prepared for those who love Him. He says that those who love Him will obey His commandments, so we must first consider if we do indeed LOVE Him, and then if we see that we do....we can know that there is nothing hidden that He will not reveal. May God bless you in Jesus' name with knowledge of Himself, and the revelation of His glory to you!
Sarah
Monday, August 17, 2009
Count the Cost of Following Christ
Last night, I went to see a movie with my husband called The Time Traveler's Wife. This movie had been intriguing to me, but not particularly one that I "had to see" at the movie theater. It was the only movie that was playing within the right timeframe of our date night, so we bought the tickets and began to watch. As the movie played, it was different from other movies I have seen in the past in that it had so many qualities that were also part of scripture (not the time traveling part), but the foreknowledge that this man had of his own life (prophecy), but he was often reluctant to share with his family (including the timing/events leading up to his own death). He would often be gone throughout the movie during key moments in this couple's life together, including holidays and their own wedding night. He was in and out of her life constantly, and yet he could not fully control when or how this was going to happen. Although purely science fiction, I began to realize a couple of major points regarding God and my own life.
1.) God is not restricted by the limitations of time and space, and also has foreknowledge of ALL events to come in our lives, even if He doesn't always share the details with us.
2.) By following a call (special distinction) in our own lives, we can often be pulled away from our families and those things which seem most important to us. I am sure there are many pastors who have been pulled away from holiday dinners and even special moments with a spouse to do God's work.
3.) Sometimes, receiving foreknowledge of the events of others, or ourselves, will only cause us to needlessly worry about the coming future --but at times, it allows us to prepare for coming hardships.
4.) When we enter into a unique relationship with something that is not bound by space and time (God), we must realize that this will forever change our lives, and we must "count the cost" of the relationship we intend to keep.
5.) Once this relationship and life of walking with God is accepted -- we must find joy in the daily activities set before us, and realize that there will be tribulations and frustrations, but we have ultimately already decided to continue on this journey.
I was thinking about this movie and couldn't even sleep last night...I felt that God had something He wanted to teach me, and even speak to others through me. I just kept praying, but I kept thinking about all the words of knowledge that God has given me over the years about my own life, and the lives of others. At times, He wants me to speak it to them for encouragement (to let them know He sees them/hears them/knows their lives), but other times....He has given me supernatural knowledge about someone's life and told me NOT to tell them. I believe these are the times when I am just supposed to know the information and pray over it. Some of these "bits" of knowledge have been quite hard to know, and I believe the Lord trusts me with His divine revelation because I am constantly learning about when to share/when not to share these pearls. I began to think about some personal revelations the Lord has given me about my own life, even events to come in the very near future, and I began to pray over my husband and children in the middle of the night. As I began to pray, any anxiety I had, any worrisome thought over what God has told me just seemed to be replaced by this sweet PEACE that only God can bring. As I was praying, the Lord spoke to my heart and said "Luke 14." So, as I turned to this chapter and read, the Lord began to show me something phenomenal about the tie between the concept of this movie and my own personal walk with Him. This is the scripture that stood out to me:
Luke 14:25-33 (NKJV):
"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 'If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it--lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going to make war against another king does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
What I believe God is saying here is that when you start the race, entering into a relationship with God and surrendering your will to His, COUNT THE COST of what you are entering into. It is not a casual relationship where you have the grace of salvation and then take every opportunity to ignore God's principles and His commandments, or even feel they are unnecessary to follow in your life. God is saying that anyone who is not willing to give up everything to be in a love relationship with Christ is not worthy of being His disciple. It is a hard, but true teaching. I remember the day when God was speaking to me in prayer and asked me, "would you be willing to die for me (not spiritually, but physically)? He continued by asking "will your surrender your children to me, so that I might choose your path in life, even if it means that they will be raised without you?" He kept asking questions like this of me for a couple of months, and one by one, I answered them with a definite YES. I surrender all to you Lord. After all, He had saved me from a life of total destruction and being spiritually destitute, and I had nothing left to hang onto in my life. I have found though, that as time passes, and I become more comfortable in my walk with God....I have to return to these questions and keep answering them with a definite YES. My life is good now. I have a husband, two beautiful children and more on the way...what would ever make me want to leave this life on earth? There is only one answer to that question...when I counted the cost in the beginning of my relationship with Christ, I surrendered my will to His, and ultimately I want to be with Him above all. Even if things are better now, I have to uphold my end of the committment, and my heart has not changed in this respect. I will go where the Lord wants me to go, do what He wants me to do, follow His commands....even if it means giving up my own life (both daily and physically). This is the cross that I bear in following Him. What's YOUR cross, and are you bearing it, or trying to get out from under its heavy weight?
Let Christ help you to bear your cross, He says "My yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30)," even when it doesn't feel that way.
Have you counted the cost of following Christ today? If you truly want to be His disciple, this is a necessary step before entering into a fully surrendered relationship with Him. You must be willing to give up your own life to accept the life He has for you. But let me tell you, the exchange of your life for His will never be something you regret.
I pray in Jesus' name that God will bless you with faith to surrender all to Him upon the hearing of His Word. May He open the doors of heaven to you if you are willing to count the cost of being His disciple and allow Him to live through you. May your reward be great in heaven for giving all and bearing your cross in His name.
Thankful to be His,
Sarah
1.) God is not restricted by the limitations of time and space, and also has foreknowledge of ALL events to come in our lives, even if He doesn't always share the details with us.
2.) By following a call (special distinction) in our own lives, we can often be pulled away from our families and those things which seem most important to us. I am sure there are many pastors who have been pulled away from holiday dinners and even special moments with a spouse to do God's work.
3.) Sometimes, receiving foreknowledge of the events of others, or ourselves, will only cause us to needlessly worry about the coming future --but at times, it allows us to prepare for coming hardships.
4.) When we enter into a unique relationship with something that is not bound by space and time (God), we must realize that this will forever change our lives, and we must "count the cost" of the relationship we intend to keep.
5.) Once this relationship and life of walking with God is accepted -- we must find joy in the daily activities set before us, and realize that there will be tribulations and frustrations, but we have ultimately already decided to continue on this journey.
I was thinking about this movie and couldn't even sleep last night...I felt that God had something He wanted to teach me, and even speak to others through me. I just kept praying, but I kept thinking about all the words of knowledge that God has given me over the years about my own life, and the lives of others. At times, He wants me to speak it to them for encouragement (to let them know He sees them/hears them/knows their lives), but other times....He has given me supernatural knowledge about someone's life and told me NOT to tell them. I believe these are the times when I am just supposed to know the information and pray over it. Some of these "bits" of knowledge have been quite hard to know, and I believe the Lord trusts me with His divine revelation because I am constantly learning about when to share/when not to share these pearls. I began to think about some personal revelations the Lord has given me about my own life, even events to come in the very near future, and I began to pray over my husband and children in the middle of the night. As I began to pray, any anxiety I had, any worrisome thought over what God has told me just seemed to be replaced by this sweet PEACE that only God can bring. As I was praying, the Lord spoke to my heart and said "Luke 14." So, as I turned to this chapter and read, the Lord began to show me something phenomenal about the tie between the concept of this movie and my own personal walk with Him. This is the scripture that stood out to me:
Luke 14:25-33 (NKJV):
"Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 'If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it--lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going to make war against another king does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
What I believe God is saying here is that when you start the race, entering into a relationship with God and surrendering your will to His, COUNT THE COST of what you are entering into. It is not a casual relationship where you have the grace of salvation and then take every opportunity to ignore God's principles and His commandments, or even feel they are unnecessary to follow in your life. God is saying that anyone who is not willing to give up everything to be in a love relationship with Christ is not worthy of being His disciple. It is a hard, but true teaching. I remember the day when God was speaking to me in prayer and asked me, "would you be willing to die for me (not spiritually, but physically)? He continued by asking "will your surrender your children to me, so that I might choose your path in life, even if it means that they will be raised without you?" He kept asking questions like this of me for a couple of months, and one by one, I answered them with a definite YES. I surrender all to you Lord. After all, He had saved me from a life of total destruction and being spiritually destitute, and I had nothing left to hang onto in my life. I have found though, that as time passes, and I become more comfortable in my walk with God....I have to return to these questions and keep answering them with a definite YES. My life is good now. I have a husband, two beautiful children and more on the way...what would ever make me want to leave this life on earth? There is only one answer to that question...when I counted the cost in the beginning of my relationship with Christ, I surrendered my will to His, and ultimately I want to be with Him above all. Even if things are better now, I have to uphold my end of the committment, and my heart has not changed in this respect. I will go where the Lord wants me to go, do what He wants me to do, follow His commands....even if it means giving up my own life (both daily and physically). This is the cross that I bear in following Him. What's YOUR cross, and are you bearing it, or trying to get out from under its heavy weight?
Let Christ help you to bear your cross, He says "My yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30)," even when it doesn't feel that way.
Have you counted the cost of following Christ today? If you truly want to be His disciple, this is a necessary step before entering into a fully surrendered relationship with Him. You must be willing to give up your own life to accept the life He has for you. But let me tell you, the exchange of your life for His will never be something you regret.
I pray in Jesus' name that God will bless you with faith to surrender all to Him upon the hearing of His Word. May He open the doors of heaven to you if you are willing to count the cost of being His disciple and allow Him to live through you. May your reward be great in heaven for giving all and bearing your cross in His name.
Thankful to be His,
Sarah
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Making A Wise Decision...
Matthew 1:18-23 (NKJV):
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.
20 But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.
21 And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.”
22 So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying:
23 “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,”[a] which is translated, “God with us.”
In continuance with my last blog entitled "The Author and Finisher of Your Faith", the Lord took some time this morning to expound upon the situations in which faith effect our lives, and our decision making, whether it be to follow man's wisdom or God's wisdom in life. Out of this scripture, God pointed out some very clear points to me:
1.) Joseph, in his own understanding of the situation with Mary's pregnancy before their marriage, sought the counsel of MAN, and was going to put away Mary secretly. But the counself of GOD entered into the situation through the angel Gabriel, and Joseph was told to not be afraid to marry her, for the child within her was conceived of the Holy Spirit and would be the Christ (the Savior of the world). He even gave Joseph the name "Jesus" for the baby which is translated "God with us."
2.) At this very point in the story, Joseph has a major decision to make...whose wisdom does he follow? Does he believe this angel of the Lord who tells him to take Mary as his wife and not put her away, even though men will not understand his reasoning and purposes (and FAITH)? OR--does he believe the angel of the Lord (and God's divine counsel) and take Mary as his wife and not be ashamed to be with her because he believes this child was conceived by the Holy Spirit and is the Son of God?
I don't know what you think, but there was definitely a lot riding on this decision to trust in either man's wisdom or God's wisdom. The interesting thing about this passage which relates to our lives today is that many times, God will reveal information about our current situation through the voice of prophecy, the church, the body of Christ, our circumstances, and prayer...and we find ourselves in the same place as Joseph did. Often times, when faced with a major decision, we seek the counsel of man. Although it is wise to seek the counsel of other Godly people, ultimately the decision to believe God lies only with each one of us. It is an individual place where we stand before God with all the information and confirmation we have received and must make this same decision....man's wisdom or God's wisdom?
This can be especially hard when the circumstance involves a great deal of change, possible ridicule, and even shame being brought upon yourself or your family. God never led us to believe that following Him was without serious cost to ourselves. Often times, He will bring us to this place of decision, "the river", where we choose to cross over from wandering in the spiritual wilderness (as Israel did for 40 years) or believing God despite the report of man (Numbers 14), and crossing over the Jordan River into the Promised Land. God will only bring you to edge of the river, but He will not make that decision of faith for you! It is up to you to decide what, and WHOM, you will believe.
Jeff and I came to the edge of the river when we chose, by the Lord's counsel, to leave the military life and move to Colorado. Jeff did not have a job, and we knew there would be enemies in the land where God was taking us. We knew ahead of time that the battles would be great and fiersome, but we also knew that the reward for obedience is GREAT. We may not see the full reward as of today, so every day, we must choose to continue to seek the Lord's counsel and His wisdom, and follow Him at any cost. There are many we know who have chosen to stay on the wilderness side of the river, and as can be seen in Numbers 14, there are consequences for choosing to believe the report of man over God's report! This can be seen in the example found in:
Luke 1:10-20 (NKJV):
10 And the whole multitude of the people was praying outside at the hour of incense.
11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.
14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.
15 For he will be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.
16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God.
17 He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, ‘to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,’[a] and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
18 And Zacharias said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.”
19 And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings.
20 But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time.”
This is another example of a man seeking God, who God brought to the place of decision. Was he going to trust his own wisdom, or the wisdom of man, which told him he was too advanced in age to bear children? OR--did he believe the angel of the Lord who came to tell him that he and Elizabeth would bear a son in old age? This is once again a question of FAITH. In contrast to what we saw with Joseph, Zachariah questioned the wisdom of God and the angel Gabriel who brought good news, and as a consequence...he was made mute until the day of his son's birth!
Ultimately, God's plans still would have prevailed in both situations, but one chose to be a cooperative and faithfilled part of the process, while the other questioned the power and wisdom of God, and received consequences for it. John the Baptist was still born of Zachariah and Elizabeth, and became the man God intended for him to be, but Zachariah was disciplined for his unbelief.
So, today, I ask you...has the Lord brought you to the valley of decision? Has He placed you at the edge of the Jordan River and is just waiting for your answer to obey Him, or not. Are you putting your trust in the wisdom of man, or the wisdom of God? Should you choose God above man, you can be sure that persecution and battles will follow, but ultimately...this decision brings you into the Promised Land that God has intended for you since before the foundation of the world. There is a LOT hanging in the balance of your decisions to have FAITH in God.
Make your choice wisely today....
May God bless you with faith from the hearing of His Word, and open your hearts and minds to the truth within. May you follow Him wholeheartedly and without regress so that you might one day find yourself in God's Promised Land. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thankful for God's wisdom,
Sarah
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.
20 But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.
21 And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.”
22 So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying:
23 “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,”[a] which is translated, “God with us.”
In continuance with my last blog entitled "The Author and Finisher of Your Faith", the Lord took some time this morning to expound upon the situations in which faith effect our lives, and our decision making, whether it be to follow man's wisdom or God's wisdom in life. Out of this scripture, God pointed out some very clear points to me:
1.) Joseph, in his own understanding of the situation with Mary's pregnancy before their marriage, sought the counsel of MAN, and was going to put away Mary secretly. But the counself of GOD entered into the situation through the angel Gabriel, and Joseph was told to not be afraid to marry her, for the child within her was conceived of the Holy Spirit and would be the Christ (the Savior of the world). He even gave Joseph the name "Jesus" for the baby which is translated "God with us."
2.) At this very point in the story, Joseph has a major decision to make...whose wisdom does he follow? Does he believe this angel of the Lord who tells him to take Mary as his wife and not put her away, even though men will not understand his reasoning and purposes (and FAITH)? OR--does he believe the angel of the Lord (and God's divine counsel) and take Mary as his wife and not be ashamed to be with her because he believes this child was conceived by the Holy Spirit and is the Son of God?
I don't know what you think, but there was definitely a lot riding on this decision to trust in either man's wisdom or God's wisdom. The interesting thing about this passage which relates to our lives today is that many times, God will reveal information about our current situation through the voice of prophecy, the church, the body of Christ, our circumstances, and prayer...and we find ourselves in the same place as Joseph did. Often times, when faced with a major decision, we seek the counsel of man. Although it is wise to seek the counsel of other Godly people, ultimately the decision to believe God lies only with each one of us. It is an individual place where we stand before God with all the information and confirmation we have received and must make this same decision....man's wisdom or God's wisdom?
This can be especially hard when the circumstance involves a great deal of change, possible ridicule, and even shame being brought upon yourself or your family. God never led us to believe that following Him was without serious cost to ourselves. Often times, He will bring us to this place of decision, "the river", where we choose to cross over from wandering in the spiritual wilderness (as Israel did for 40 years) or believing God despite the report of man (Numbers 14), and crossing over the Jordan River into the Promised Land. God will only bring you to edge of the river, but He will not make that decision of faith for you! It is up to you to decide what, and WHOM, you will believe.
Jeff and I came to the edge of the river when we chose, by the Lord's counsel, to leave the military life and move to Colorado. Jeff did not have a job, and we knew there would be enemies in the land where God was taking us. We knew ahead of time that the battles would be great and fiersome, but we also knew that the reward for obedience is GREAT. We may not see the full reward as of today, so every day, we must choose to continue to seek the Lord's counsel and His wisdom, and follow Him at any cost. There are many we know who have chosen to stay on the wilderness side of the river, and as can be seen in Numbers 14, there are consequences for choosing to believe the report of man over God's report! This can be seen in the example found in:
Luke 1:10-20 (NKJV):
10 And the whole multitude of the people was praying outside at the hour of incense.
11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.
14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.
15 For he will be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.
16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God.
17 He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, ‘to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,’[a] and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
18 And Zacharias said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.”
19 And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings.
20 But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time.”
This is another example of a man seeking God, who God brought to the place of decision. Was he going to trust his own wisdom, or the wisdom of man, which told him he was too advanced in age to bear children? OR--did he believe the angel of the Lord who came to tell him that he and Elizabeth would bear a son in old age? This is once again a question of FAITH. In contrast to what we saw with Joseph, Zachariah questioned the wisdom of God and the angel Gabriel who brought good news, and as a consequence...he was made mute until the day of his son's birth!
Ultimately, God's plans still would have prevailed in both situations, but one chose to be a cooperative and faithfilled part of the process, while the other questioned the power and wisdom of God, and received consequences for it. John the Baptist was still born of Zachariah and Elizabeth, and became the man God intended for him to be, but Zachariah was disciplined for his unbelief.
So, today, I ask you...has the Lord brought you to the valley of decision? Has He placed you at the edge of the Jordan River and is just waiting for your answer to obey Him, or not. Are you putting your trust in the wisdom of man, or the wisdom of God? Should you choose God above man, you can be sure that persecution and battles will follow, but ultimately...this decision brings you into the Promised Land that God has intended for you since before the foundation of the world. There is a LOT hanging in the balance of your decisions to have FAITH in God.
Make your choice wisely today....
May God bless you with faith from the hearing of His Word, and open your hearts and minds to the truth within. May you follow Him wholeheartedly and without regress so that you might one day find yourself in God's Promised Land. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thankful for God's wisdom,
Sarah
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Author and Finisher of Faith
Do you ever realize that life is a journey, and it is always headed somewhere? I recently was told by a man I know that sometimes, it is like we are on a dark and winding road at night, and we have a look of uncertainty as to where we are going. This is equally true in the Christian life, when a person is walking with God. Sometimes, we don't know what path we are on, what step comes next, or even where it will lead us eventually. One thing we CAN know for sure is that Christ is the "author and finisher of our faith." It is His path that we are on, and ultimately, He knows the way to living victoriously, even when we cannot see two feet in front of us!
Hebrews 12:1-3 (NKJV): "Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
There are a couple of things about this scripture that stand out to me, first that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. We have people all around us who will encourage us to believe in Christ and His continuing work, as we are constantly given testimony by other believers of what He has done in their lives. We are able to view and hear about the other paths that Christians are walking with God and be encouraged that God is always with His children, and is not leaving them to ruin or destruction. Second of all, the word endurance stounds out as it is spoken of as something we need to run the race (the path of life) set before US, but also that Christ already demonstrated that this can be done by "enduring" the cross. He endured His own life path all the way to the end of suffering on a cross. He is setting an example for those of us who would like to follow Him in His own footsteps, and become Christ-like.
The word "patience" (or endurance) that is being spoken of in this verse is from the Greek word "hypomone" which means "steadfastness, constancy, endurance" and in the New Testament, it characterizes a person who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and suffering."
The scripture also says "despising the shame." Have you ever felt persecuted, or felt as though others around you were trying to put you to shame for what you believe about Christ, His power and His resurrection? I certainly have. I have endured shame from others because I was bold enough to proclaim that Jesus was alive and that I walk daily with Him. I have made proclamations of things that Christ has told me in the secret place of prayer with Him, shouting from the rooftops what I have heard in secret, and I have endured ridicule and shame....as all His prophets did before me. Christ, himself, was a prophet of God proclaiming God's Word, and His promises, and His plan for the redemption of mankind. Yet, Christ was (and still is) ridiculed to this day, and there are many who love to put His holy name to shame over the things He proclaimed as truth. The more we speak of the truth of God, the more we can expect to endure the same suffering and shame as Christ. But, there is redemption in the last line of the scripture. You see, Christ was exalted to the right hand of the throne of God, the place of greatest honor in the kingdom of God. We, too, after suffering, will be seated in the heavenly places with Christ and we have become co-heirs in His inheritance. We will be exalted as well.
I have been pondering this idea of being in shame by the world's standards for believing in Christ, His plan and His purposes for my life. I have endured ridicule, mocking, and utter disbelief, even from my own brothers and sisters in Christ. Why do I continue to run the race set before me (by Christ) with endurance? Because as I suffer with Him, I will also be exalted with Him in the heavenly places.
Romans 8:16-18 (NKJV): "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I exhort you and encourage you to consider whether or not your suffering is for the kingdom of God, or you are just suffering in vain. This is all determined by whether the Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit as to whether you are a child of God. If you are suffering currently and are a child of God, I encourage you to run the race set before you with endurance! You will be exalted in that final day with Christ, and you will receive the inheritance that was given to you by the Father God in heaven. Just remain on that course that you are set upon, and remember that Christ is the one who is the author and FINISHER of your faith! May God bless you and keep you through any trial and suffering, and comfort you with the knowledge of your own exaltation alongside Christ. In Jesus name, I pray that God would open your hearts, minds, ears and eyes to see the truth of His Word, and the glory contained within.
In His glorious grace,
Sarah
Hebrews 12:1-3 (NKJV): "Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
There are a couple of things about this scripture that stand out to me, first that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. We have people all around us who will encourage us to believe in Christ and His continuing work, as we are constantly given testimony by other believers of what He has done in their lives. We are able to view and hear about the other paths that Christians are walking with God and be encouraged that God is always with His children, and is not leaving them to ruin or destruction. Second of all, the word endurance stounds out as it is spoken of as something we need to run the race (the path of life) set before US, but also that Christ already demonstrated that this can be done by "enduring" the cross. He endured His own life path all the way to the end of suffering on a cross. He is setting an example for those of us who would like to follow Him in His own footsteps, and become Christ-like.
The word "patience" (or endurance) that is being spoken of in this verse is from the Greek word "hypomone" which means "steadfastness, constancy, endurance" and in the New Testament, it characterizes a person who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and suffering."
The scripture also says "despising the shame." Have you ever felt persecuted, or felt as though others around you were trying to put you to shame for what you believe about Christ, His power and His resurrection? I certainly have. I have endured shame from others because I was bold enough to proclaim that Jesus was alive and that I walk daily with Him. I have made proclamations of things that Christ has told me in the secret place of prayer with Him, shouting from the rooftops what I have heard in secret, and I have endured ridicule and shame....as all His prophets did before me. Christ, himself, was a prophet of God proclaiming God's Word, and His promises, and His plan for the redemption of mankind. Yet, Christ was (and still is) ridiculed to this day, and there are many who love to put His holy name to shame over the things He proclaimed as truth. The more we speak of the truth of God, the more we can expect to endure the same suffering and shame as Christ. But, there is redemption in the last line of the scripture. You see, Christ was exalted to the right hand of the throne of God, the place of greatest honor in the kingdom of God. We, too, after suffering, will be seated in the heavenly places with Christ and we have become co-heirs in His inheritance. We will be exalted as well.
I have been pondering this idea of being in shame by the world's standards for believing in Christ, His plan and His purposes for my life. I have endured ridicule, mocking, and utter disbelief, even from my own brothers and sisters in Christ. Why do I continue to run the race set before me (by Christ) with endurance? Because as I suffer with Him, I will also be exalted with Him in the heavenly places.
Romans 8:16-18 (NKJV): "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
I exhort you and encourage you to consider whether or not your suffering is for the kingdom of God, or you are just suffering in vain. This is all determined by whether the Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit as to whether you are a child of God. If you are suffering currently and are a child of God, I encourage you to run the race set before you with endurance! You will be exalted in that final day with Christ, and you will receive the inheritance that was given to you by the Father God in heaven. Just remain on that course that you are set upon, and remember that Christ is the one who is the author and FINISHER of your faith! May God bless you and keep you through any trial and suffering, and comfort you with the knowledge of your own exaltation alongside Christ. In Jesus name, I pray that God would open your hearts, minds, ears and eyes to see the truth of His Word, and the glory contained within.
In His glorious grace,
Sarah
Friday, July 24, 2009
Walking by Faith Not by Sight
Hmmm...what to say. So much has happened in the past few months that I would not even begin to know what to say about it. I have been on yet another leg of an amazing journey walking side by side with the Lord. The last blog I wrote told of what it was like to arrive in God's country (Colorado) and be overwhelmed by sights, sounds, and people around me. God has certainly chosen an amazing place for a new revelation of Himself to me and my family. We have been down a rocky road here, but I am beginning to see that with each turn that we take, God is teaching is something new and incredible about His ways, His purposes, His faithfulness, and His great love for me and my family.
We arrived here in Hesperus, Colorado and God was faithful, giving Jeff a job through a family friend. Within two weeks, a better job seemed to have appeared and Jeff accepted the second job. Within a month, his entire view on life, work, and family had begun a rapid transformation! He left the second job without having a third job lined up, but once again...through prayer, God was faithful and provided yet another job. Meanwhile, it felt as though we were in the eye of a hurricane. I say that eye, and not the wind, because even in the midst of change and uncertainty, God provided peace. I went to God many times admitting that I had no idea what was happening in our lives, or what direction He was taking us in...all I could do was praise Him and let Him comfort me, guide me, and in the end...I just kept hearing the Lord say "Wait upon the Lord..." Waiting has never been my strong point, and waiting around with bills to pay, mouths to feed, and emotional strife on every side did not seem ideal to me....but I know that the Lord's ways are higher than my ways, and I finally surrendered and just told the Lord "I trust you." The Lord had always provided me with such clear insight, direction and the constancy of His voice in times of trouble. Now, suddenly, His voice had gone silent. I found myself digging through His Word trying to find some sort of revelation, comfort, wisdom...anything to speak to me and get me through...and once again, I could hear the Lord saying "Wait."
God's Word tells us that the "just will live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him (Hebrews 10:38)." I keep believing that the Lord would ask me to put one foot in front of the other and just walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)." No matter what I saw happening around me, and how fearful it could try to make me, I was just going to hold onto the Lord and walk faithfully by His side. This included trusting Him with my children, my parents, my finances, my sustinence, my peace and even my sanity. In my life before Christ, I suffered deeply from anxiety, fear and depression. This could have been a dangerous place in my life with so much uncertainty encircling me, but that is where God began to shine...in the darkest places of my life. He began to show me that my very survival, my salvation, depended on Him. He began to show me how much peace He was providing to me and my family. He began to show me how He provided for us, and assured me that He always will. He has sustained my health and given me joy in pregnancy this time around. He is building relationships where they are broken, and He is healing those around me. He is at WORK ALL AROUND ME. But sometimes, in the darkness, we begin to focus only on ourselves. We begin to think that God is not at work, God is not answering prayers, God is not hearing our cries for mercy and deliverance. It was not until I went honestly before God and cried out before Him that He began to show me how much work was already done, while I was busy worrying and complaining. He told me that He will use us in spite of ourselves. When I felt useless, God was using me to bring edification, even healing to other lives. Now, THAT is God's glory...
My final thoughts are where I stand right now....God spoke wisdom to me the other day and said "To the degree that we surrender (to Him) is the degree that we will experience freedom." This whole time, God has simply been asking me to surrender more of my life to Him. He wants to provide me with greater freedom from the cares of this world, and continue to sanctify me of all filthiness and unholiness. Praise God that He is wiser than me. I would not trade or take back one single moment of being in this place with God. I have no idea if we are staying here, or simply being a "sojourner," but I am going to continue to wait upon the Lord and worship Him for His greatness and glory.
I pray that this testimony to God's all sufficient grace and wisdom has blessed you today. I pray that God will open your heart and mind to all He has for you....and that you will seek the fullest surrender to Him, that we may all be free in Jesus Christ!
Loving Him,
Sarah
We arrived here in Hesperus, Colorado and God was faithful, giving Jeff a job through a family friend. Within two weeks, a better job seemed to have appeared and Jeff accepted the second job. Within a month, his entire view on life, work, and family had begun a rapid transformation! He left the second job without having a third job lined up, but once again...through prayer, God was faithful and provided yet another job. Meanwhile, it felt as though we were in the eye of a hurricane. I say that eye, and not the wind, because even in the midst of change and uncertainty, God provided peace. I went to God many times admitting that I had no idea what was happening in our lives, or what direction He was taking us in...all I could do was praise Him and let Him comfort me, guide me, and in the end...I just kept hearing the Lord say "Wait upon the Lord..." Waiting has never been my strong point, and waiting around with bills to pay, mouths to feed, and emotional strife on every side did not seem ideal to me....but I know that the Lord's ways are higher than my ways, and I finally surrendered and just told the Lord "I trust you." The Lord had always provided me with such clear insight, direction and the constancy of His voice in times of trouble. Now, suddenly, His voice had gone silent. I found myself digging through His Word trying to find some sort of revelation, comfort, wisdom...anything to speak to me and get me through...and once again, I could hear the Lord saying "Wait."
God's Word tells us that the "just will live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him (Hebrews 10:38)." I keep believing that the Lord would ask me to put one foot in front of the other and just walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)." No matter what I saw happening around me, and how fearful it could try to make me, I was just going to hold onto the Lord and walk faithfully by His side. This included trusting Him with my children, my parents, my finances, my sustinence, my peace and even my sanity. In my life before Christ, I suffered deeply from anxiety, fear and depression. This could have been a dangerous place in my life with so much uncertainty encircling me, but that is where God began to shine...in the darkest places of my life. He began to show me that my very survival, my salvation, depended on Him. He began to show me how much peace He was providing to me and my family. He began to show me how He provided for us, and assured me that He always will. He has sustained my health and given me joy in pregnancy this time around. He is building relationships where they are broken, and He is healing those around me. He is at WORK ALL AROUND ME. But sometimes, in the darkness, we begin to focus only on ourselves. We begin to think that God is not at work, God is not answering prayers, God is not hearing our cries for mercy and deliverance. It was not until I went honestly before God and cried out before Him that He began to show me how much work was already done, while I was busy worrying and complaining. He told me that He will use us in spite of ourselves. When I felt useless, God was using me to bring edification, even healing to other lives. Now, THAT is God's glory...
My final thoughts are where I stand right now....God spoke wisdom to me the other day and said "To the degree that we surrender (to Him) is the degree that we will experience freedom." This whole time, God has simply been asking me to surrender more of my life to Him. He wants to provide me with greater freedom from the cares of this world, and continue to sanctify me of all filthiness and unholiness. Praise God that He is wiser than me. I would not trade or take back one single moment of being in this place with God. I have no idea if we are staying here, or simply being a "sojourner," but I am going to continue to wait upon the Lord and worship Him for His greatness and glory.
I pray that this testimony to God's all sufficient grace and wisdom has blessed you today. I pray that God will open your heart and mind to all He has for you....and that you will seek the fullest surrender to Him, that we may all be free in Jesus Christ!
Loving Him,
Sarah
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Living in God's Country - Colorado
This past week, I have been being nudged in my heart to check in with this blog and write something...anything, to let the readers know that I am OK and arrived in Colorado safely. The days have been moving so fast that I have neglected to write and say anything regarding my new life here in Colorado. We arrived in Durango, Colorado on April 9, 2009, and were graciously welcomed by my parents at the airport. After shivering our way from the plane to the car, we realized that we were not in Guam anymore! We arrived at my parents' home which they had beautifully arranged and decorated in preparation for our arrival. I almost felt like royalty, and certainly appreciated every moment of their hospitality.
Since arriving, Mariah is finishing the first grade at a local elementary school and doing fantastically well! Krischan is settling is after having some initial sleeping problems, but seems to be in love with the horses, and definitely leaning toward being a cowboy. Jeff took a 2 week vacation and then started work at a concrete company this past Monday. I am staying home with Krischan until he hopefully starts preschool in the fall. Just about the same time we will be expecting our newest addition, baby #3. I am currently 13 1/2 weeks pregnant and have safely made it through the first trimester with no complications! God is good!
God has also blessed us quickly with a new church home - Pine Valley Church in Bayfield, Colorado. We have loved the two services we attended and both feel this is where God would have us stay to worship. I remember before I left Guam, I prayed for three things over and over....Jeff to have a job the would provide for our needs, a car and a home to live in. God has answered all three prayers already. He has also answered my prayer for a bible-believing church where people were in love with the Lord!
The added blessings here in God's country are that we are all healthy and safe, we get to revel at God's majestic creation (snow-capped mountain range) every day, we have the pleasant companionship of four horses, four dogs, and God is filling this home with love and peace, and most of all - joy in being together. I don't think I could ask for a better place to be right now - although I do miss my friends and church family back in Guam. God keeps telling me to look ahead and not behind....to focus on the things to come and not the past....so I am going to do that!
Today, I pray that you find those special blessings in your life and really thank God for each and every one of them! God is always good, and always at work around us. Sometimes, our lives and decisions do not make sense to others, but they always make sense to the author and perfecter of our faith - the Lord Jesus. He knows just what He is doing, and as our new pastor said "God is not through with you yet."
Be blessed in Jesus' name.
Sarah
Since arriving, Mariah is finishing the first grade at a local elementary school and doing fantastically well! Krischan is settling is after having some initial sleeping problems, but seems to be in love with the horses, and definitely leaning toward being a cowboy. Jeff took a 2 week vacation and then started work at a concrete company this past Monday. I am staying home with Krischan until he hopefully starts preschool in the fall. Just about the same time we will be expecting our newest addition, baby #3. I am currently 13 1/2 weeks pregnant and have safely made it through the first trimester with no complications! God is good!
God has also blessed us quickly with a new church home - Pine Valley Church in Bayfield, Colorado. We have loved the two services we attended and both feel this is where God would have us stay to worship. I remember before I left Guam, I prayed for three things over and over....Jeff to have a job the would provide for our needs, a car and a home to live in. God has answered all three prayers already. He has also answered my prayer for a bible-believing church where people were in love with the Lord!
The added blessings here in God's country are that we are all healthy and safe, we get to revel at God's majestic creation (snow-capped mountain range) every day, we have the pleasant companionship of four horses, four dogs, and God is filling this home with love and peace, and most of all - joy in being together. I don't think I could ask for a better place to be right now - although I do miss my friends and church family back in Guam. God keeps telling me to look ahead and not behind....to focus on the things to come and not the past....so I am going to do that!
Today, I pray that you find those special blessings in your life and really thank God for each and every one of them! God is always good, and always at work around us. Sometimes, our lives and decisions do not make sense to others, but they always make sense to the author and perfecter of our faith - the Lord Jesus. He knows just what He is doing, and as our new pastor said "God is not through with you yet."
Be blessed in Jesus' name.
Sarah
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Choosing Hope in Christ
Throughout my life, I have been through many dire circumstances, many of which were my own doing. I have lived through days when I had no hope of a better future, and I felt hopelessly lost and miserable. I have felt deep pain and I have endured poverty, sickness, loss, depression, heartache, failure, and a never-ending stream of bad circumstances. This characterized my former life before Christ. It was one mistake after another, and I say this...not to dwell on the past, but to make a point to you today. Even after accepting Christ as Lord and Savior, life has had some difficult twists and turns. In the past two years, as I have said before, I endured marital problems, my son's enduring illness and sleepless nights, the loss of two pregnancies in three months, and the loss of my grandmother this past Christmas. I have had financial ups and downs, but mostly skating the edge of not having enough. Our country is currently in a time of financial hardship, our families are seeing hard days with increasing rates of divorce, abortion, and homosexual unions becoming the norm. Our country is at war, and we are seeing unemployment rates climbing and more heinous crimes. Quite honestly, reading the news every day is quite depressing to me because it reminds me of how much evil exists in our world today.
You may ask, why am I telling you what you already know?
I am telling you because in the last week, the Lord has reminded me of a very important fact about being His child. We have a decision to make each and every day about our attitude toward this world and its current state. A couple of weeks ago, I was at the hospital and I ran into an acquaintance of mine. She was there to get a dating ultrasound for her first pregnancy. She was sharing with me how she was anxious over her pregnancy and just wanted to make sure everything was going well. She began to tell me how her sisters had miscarriages and she was afraid it might happen to her. It was the perfect opportunity for me to share with her what I had been through this year with having miscarriages, and how we have to put our trust and faith in God alone. Then these words just jumped out of my mouth (I didn't feel like it was me talking).
I said to her, "The way I look at it, I have two choices at this point in my life, I can live my life in fear, worry and anxiety over what is going to happen next, OR I can CHOOSE to have hope and be a fool for Christ."
After I said those words, I began to think about what I had just said. The rest of that day, and the day after, I meditated on those words. I CHOOSE to have hope, rather than despair. I realized that I am enabled to hope because I know that my Lord is coming one day to bring me to be with him forever. He says He will wipe away ever tear from their eyes.
Revelation 21:4 (KJV):
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away."
This scripture gives me something great to hope FOR. When I am with my Lord someday, I will not have the worries and cares that I do today. I will not be worried over having a miscarriage, or going into poverty, or feeding my children, or disease, or death. In these times where life can be so difficult because of so many different twists and turns in life, we are forced to make a decision:
DESPAIR OR HOPE?
If you have nothing to hope for, then I pray that you will allow your hope to rest securely in the salvation that can only come through Jesus Christ and his death on the cross for your sins. Without Him, and His promises found in God's Word, there is no hope.
Psalm 31:23-24 (KJV):
"O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord."
Psalm 71:14 (KJV):
"But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more."
Psalm 119:114-117 (KJV):
"Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of God. Uphold me according to thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually."
Proverbs 10:27-29 (NKJV):
"The fear of the Lord prolongs days, But the years of the wicked will be shortened. The hope of the righteous will be gladness, but the expectation of the wicked will perish. The way of the Lord is strength for the upright, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity."
During these trying times, the only safe place to be is resting securely in God's salvation through Christ. We can always have hope because God never goes back on His Word, and He has promised to save us from this world and bring us into heaven for all eternity. That makes life on earth much more bearable, and we are even able to have joy during tribulation.
Now that is amazing.
I pray today that if you have not found the security and hope found only in Christ, that you would pray today to receive Him as your Lord and Savior. After you have found security only in Him, you will no longer be shaken by the circumstances surrounding your life, because His mercy and truth endures forever. There is nothing left to fear because God is with you. I pray today that God would open your eyes to see, and your ears to hear the truth of His gospel of salvation. I pray that joy and peace would be with you in the Holy Spirit. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Resting securely in Him,
Sarah
You may ask, why am I telling you what you already know?
I am telling you because in the last week, the Lord has reminded me of a very important fact about being His child. We have a decision to make each and every day about our attitude toward this world and its current state. A couple of weeks ago, I was at the hospital and I ran into an acquaintance of mine. She was there to get a dating ultrasound for her first pregnancy. She was sharing with me how she was anxious over her pregnancy and just wanted to make sure everything was going well. She began to tell me how her sisters had miscarriages and she was afraid it might happen to her. It was the perfect opportunity for me to share with her what I had been through this year with having miscarriages, and how we have to put our trust and faith in God alone. Then these words just jumped out of my mouth (I didn't feel like it was me talking).
I said to her, "The way I look at it, I have two choices at this point in my life, I can live my life in fear, worry and anxiety over what is going to happen next, OR I can CHOOSE to have hope and be a fool for Christ."
After I said those words, I began to think about what I had just said. The rest of that day, and the day after, I meditated on those words. I CHOOSE to have hope, rather than despair. I realized that I am enabled to hope because I know that my Lord is coming one day to bring me to be with him forever. He says He will wipe away ever tear from their eyes.
Revelation 21:4 (KJV):
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away."
This scripture gives me something great to hope FOR. When I am with my Lord someday, I will not have the worries and cares that I do today. I will not be worried over having a miscarriage, or going into poverty, or feeding my children, or disease, or death. In these times where life can be so difficult because of so many different twists and turns in life, we are forced to make a decision:
DESPAIR OR HOPE?
If you have nothing to hope for, then I pray that you will allow your hope to rest securely in the salvation that can only come through Jesus Christ and his death on the cross for your sins. Without Him, and His promises found in God's Word, there is no hope.
Psalm 31:23-24 (KJV):
"O love the Lord, all ye His saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord."
Psalm 71:14 (KJV):
"But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more."
Psalm 119:114-117 (KJV):
"Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of God. Uphold me according to thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually."
Proverbs 10:27-29 (NKJV):
"The fear of the Lord prolongs days, But the years of the wicked will be shortened. The hope of the righteous will be gladness, but the expectation of the wicked will perish. The way of the Lord is strength for the upright, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity."
During these trying times, the only safe place to be is resting securely in God's salvation through Christ. We can always have hope because God never goes back on His Word, and He has promised to save us from this world and bring us into heaven for all eternity. That makes life on earth much more bearable, and we are even able to have joy during tribulation.
Now that is amazing.
I pray today that if you have not found the security and hope found only in Christ, that you would pray today to receive Him as your Lord and Savior. After you have found security only in Him, you will no longer be shaken by the circumstances surrounding your life, because His mercy and truth endures forever. There is nothing left to fear because God is with you. I pray today that God would open your eyes to see, and your ears to hear the truth of His gospel of salvation. I pray that joy and peace would be with you in the Holy Spirit. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Resting securely in Him,
Sarah
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Well, here we are....3 weeks before the move of our lives to Hesperus, Colorado! This has been quite an adventure thus far. I am currently reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it says that every woman (in her heart) longs to be part of a great adventure! I believe this is true, and is a great part of the reason we love stories and fairy tales about princes and princesses as little girls. We want to be pursued, loved, and passionately desired. We want excitement and adventure (and LOVE) and we often go looking for it in all the wrong places. I myself spent many years in those wrong places, believing love and joy came from the perfect man, or the perfect life, or education, or having the right job. I have realized recently that the simple phrase God is LOVE shows that we can only find what we truly desire when we have a relationship with our Lord. He is the author of the greatest adventure this world has ever known, all of which can be found in the gripping pages of the best book ever - the Bible. When you read this book as a story of God's love for you, it is exciting and relevant, and very telling of Who God really is, and what plans He has for you. There is drama, romance, adventure, deception, betrayal, strong figures and great rescues from dire circumstances. It is the greatest story ever told! It has every element of every other good book, except it is all true, and God begins to live it out WITH you.
I recently saw a movie, I can't remember the name but it has a man who reads books and they come alive. You may know the one I am talking about. I DO know the "Neverending Story" and how it comes alive in the little boy's life, and he becomes the hero in the story. Many would say, but those are just made-up stories (FICTION)....and that is ALL the Bible is....historical fiction. The difference is that once a person puts their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to be their hero, their Savior, they begin to realize that God's story is true....and amazingly enough, it is unfolding every day all around us in accordance with the Holy Scriptures. The more I read, and the more I watch the world around me, the more I realize that EVERY single word of the Bible is TRUE. But God doesn't want us to just read His Word passively. He wants us to study every word, apply the words to our own lives, and begin to live out the great adventure He has for each of us in our own lives....while remaining under the protection of His power and glory! The greatest part about all of it is that even if your story ends in death, the story does not end. That is only the beginning of eternity. So, no longer must you be afraid to die. Day by day, your faith grows that God's words are true, and He alone will carry you into eternal life with Him.
Today...I just want to thank God for inviting me into His great story; the greatest adventure ever told! I want to thank Him for continually making Himself real in my life, and for interacting with me each and every day, even down to the littlest details of my life. The more I realize that God is my hero and my salvation, I love Him and trust Him all the more! I pray today that God will open up your hearts and minds to see Him at work all around you. I pray that you would recognize that God created you to have a role in this great adventure, and all you have to do is join into the story by allowing God to be your Savior through Jesus Christ, and your hero. Once you are plugged into the story, things will begin to happen that you never have known or dreamed before. I pray God blesses you with knowledge of His greatness and glory, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Rescued by Christ,
Sarah
I recently saw a movie, I can't remember the name but it has a man who reads books and they come alive. You may know the one I am talking about. I DO know the "Neverending Story" and how it comes alive in the little boy's life, and he becomes the hero in the story. Many would say, but those are just made-up stories (FICTION)....and that is ALL the Bible is....historical fiction. The difference is that once a person puts their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to be their hero, their Savior, they begin to realize that God's story is true....and amazingly enough, it is unfolding every day all around us in accordance with the Holy Scriptures. The more I read, and the more I watch the world around me, the more I realize that EVERY single word of the Bible is TRUE. But God doesn't want us to just read His Word passively. He wants us to study every word, apply the words to our own lives, and begin to live out the great adventure He has for each of us in our own lives....while remaining under the protection of His power and glory! The greatest part about all of it is that even if your story ends in death, the story does not end. That is only the beginning of eternity. So, no longer must you be afraid to die. Day by day, your faith grows that God's words are true, and He alone will carry you into eternal life with Him.
Today...I just want to thank God for inviting me into His great story; the greatest adventure ever told! I want to thank Him for continually making Himself real in my life, and for interacting with me each and every day, even down to the littlest details of my life. The more I realize that God is my hero and my salvation, I love Him and trust Him all the more! I pray today that God will open up your hearts and minds to see Him at work all around you. I pray that you would recognize that God created you to have a role in this great adventure, and all you have to do is join into the story by allowing God to be your Savior through Jesus Christ, and your hero. Once you are plugged into the story, things will begin to happen that you never have known or dreamed before. I pray God blesses you with knowledge of His greatness and glory, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Rescued by Christ,
Sarah
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Relying on God's Strength
I feel like it has been forever since I wrote a solid blog, but that is because life has been moving at light speed lately. We are less than one month away from moving to Colorado, and we still have many small details that need to be worked out. We have decided to bring our adopted greyhound with us, which was always the plan, but is proving to create difficulties in our move. Then, Krischan had surgery last Thursday, which went very well. The doctors said his tonsils were HUGE and that you could hit them with a nine iron at 500 yards. He said on the other hand, the anesthesiologist said it was "like threading a needle" to get the tube down K's throat. That is how small the space in his throat had become for doing things like eating, breathing, and talking. We have a new, improved child as of Thursday night - he is more alive and active than ever before, despite the pain of surgery. The other thing is that he is talking, and talking, and talking. I could only think of one word for him right now - FREEDOM. He seems to be revelling in it! So praise God for bringing him through safely, and for giving him a new way to live without so many complications. We were told that his seizures could be possibly tied to the lack of sleep and lack of oxygenation to his brain caused by the enlarged tonsils, so his neurologist thinks that this may help with that problem as well! Isn't God amazing? I also praise and thank all the doctors and nurses who labored over his surgery and recovery. I know God must love doctors because they are so instrumental in carrying out His divine healing.
So, the last few days, we have been running on God's strength. The first day was amazingly easy, but that night, reality set in. Krischan vomited, didn't sleep, seemed miserable and I only got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep. I woke up exhausted ready for day 2. I was praying and asking God just to get me through it....I have been through many sleepless nights before with Krischan....and God has always been faithful to give me energy for the next day. A friend took Mariah the first night to her house, that was a blessing. Then another friend brought me lunch yesterday while Krischan was napping. While another friend took Mariah to school yesterday. God has surrounded me with beautiful women who are willing to serve, love, and just be good friends to me and my family. May God bless them richly!
Right now, in general, with the move and everything else going on....I have become truly exhausted. One morning, I woke up and I was already exhausted (I have struggled with fatigue all my life)...and I began to ask the Lord what to do. I didn't feel like I had the energy to make it through the day. At 7:00 am, I was already thinking about what time of day I could take a nap! And all of a sudden, I had a song in my heart "This Is the Day that the Lord Has Made" and I began to sing to myself around the house. I kept singing all day, and as I did, the fatigue lifted and I had energy. It was absolutely amazing! Something as simple as praising God can lift your entire energy level! The more I sang the song, the better I felt! Here are the lyrics, in case you need a "pick me up"!
"This is the day,
This is the day,
This is the day that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it
I will rejoice and be glad in it,
OOOH this is the day, this is the day
This is the day that the Lord has made
Just keep singing, and rely on the Lord to be your strength. He will lift up your head and put a song in your heart to sing all day!
Here are some encouraging scriptures for today's blog:
Psalm 21:1 (NKJV):
"The king shall have joy in Your strength, O LORD; And in Your salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!"
Matthew 11:28 (NKJV):
"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Psalm 28:7 (NKJV):
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him."
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NKJV):
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."
Today, I ask the Lord to bless you with joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. I pray that He would replace the ashes in your life for beauty, and that your life would become a planting of the Lord, for His glory. I pray that you would have peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and that you would sing a song in your heart to Him all day! I pray this over you in Jesus' name, Amen.
The Lord is my Shield and Strength,
Sarah
So, the last few days, we have been running on God's strength. The first day was amazingly easy, but that night, reality set in. Krischan vomited, didn't sleep, seemed miserable and I only got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep. I woke up exhausted ready for day 2. I was praying and asking God just to get me through it....I have been through many sleepless nights before with Krischan....and God has always been faithful to give me energy for the next day. A friend took Mariah the first night to her house, that was a blessing. Then another friend brought me lunch yesterday while Krischan was napping. While another friend took Mariah to school yesterday. God has surrounded me with beautiful women who are willing to serve, love, and just be good friends to me and my family. May God bless them richly!
Right now, in general, with the move and everything else going on....I have become truly exhausted. One morning, I woke up and I was already exhausted (I have struggled with fatigue all my life)...and I began to ask the Lord what to do. I didn't feel like I had the energy to make it through the day. At 7:00 am, I was already thinking about what time of day I could take a nap! And all of a sudden, I had a song in my heart "This Is the Day that the Lord Has Made" and I began to sing to myself around the house. I kept singing all day, and as I did, the fatigue lifted and I had energy. It was absolutely amazing! Something as simple as praising God can lift your entire energy level! The more I sang the song, the better I felt! Here are the lyrics, in case you need a "pick me up"!
"This is the day,
This is the day,
This is the day that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it
I will rejoice and be glad in it,
OOOH this is the day, this is the day
This is the day that the Lord has made
Just keep singing, and rely on the Lord to be your strength. He will lift up your head and put a song in your heart to sing all day!
Here are some encouraging scriptures for today's blog:
Psalm 21:1 (NKJV):
"The king shall have joy in Your strength, O LORD; And in Your salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!"
Matthew 11:28 (NKJV):
"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Psalm 28:7 (NKJV):
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him."
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NKJV):
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."
Today, I ask the Lord to bless you with joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. I pray that He would replace the ashes in your life for beauty, and that your life would become a planting of the Lord, for His glory. I pray that you would have peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and that you would sing a song in your heart to Him all day! I pray this over you in Jesus' name, Amen.
The Lord is my Shield and Strength,
Sarah
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I'm Back Again...
Just wanted to write a quick note, and let everyone know that my computers have all failed in the past couple of weeks. We did not have one single working computer, so I have not been able to write...but that does not mean God has not been moving even more than usual. God is answering prayers, healing, and showing us His greatness once again, as He never ceases to do! He truly is indescribable!
Today, I have to prepare the house with my family for a pre-moving inspection by the base housing, so I cannot take the time to write at this moment. I will come back later and write about all the wonderful things God is doing in our lives over the past couple of weeks. :-)
Love you all, God bless you!
Sarah
Today, I have to prepare the house with my family for a pre-moving inspection by the base housing, so I cannot take the time to write at this moment. I will come back later and write about all the wonderful things God is doing in our lives over the past couple of weeks. :-)
Love you all, God bless you!
Sarah
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
God is Good!
This morning, I woke up early to take Krischan to yet another doctor's appointment. I have been taking him to doctors regularly since he was born. The doctor commented today that Krischan seemed to know the routine pretty well, and seemed very patient with the whole process. I know this is because Krischan has been subjected to so many prodding hands, needles, tests, and he just accepts it as part of normal life. It made my heart sad to know that he thought that this is just way it is supposed to be. This time, we were visiting because I finally got a doctor to admit that his tonsils were grossly huge and blocking his airway at night. I was told today that he has obstructive sleep apnea due to his enlarged tonsils and adenoids, and that we are scheduled for him to have surgery (for removal) on March 12th. The doctor handed me a brochure discussing the diagnosis and the surgery, and every symptom fit the problems that Krischan has faced since the day he was born. He chokes, gasps, snores, wheezes and struggles for air at night....and this has been a burden in my heart for a long time. I spoke to his neurologist about the diagnosis and he said that his seizures could be caused by sleep deprivation and lack of oxygen to his brain. The sheet I received agreed with the neurologist's opinion that these two things are probably causing the delayed maturation of Krischan's brain that has shown up on the last two MRI's. Both doctors agreed that they are possibly related, and this surgery may help to alleviate ALL of Krischan's medical problems in one shot! So I want to give God praise today for bringing this diagnosis to the forefront and blessing Krischan with great doctors, and a surgery date that precedes our date to leave Guam by 28 days. That is plenty of time for Krischan to fully recover and have a new life in Colorado without the problems he has faced. We were warned that the surgery only has a 90% success rate for alleviating symptoms, so there is a chance that it will not help Krischan, but I believe if God has brought us this far...He won't leave us now in that 10%. God has mercy upon Krischan's life, and He loves Krischan more than I ever could. Krischan now has a testimony about God's mercy and grace in His life, and God has proven that His grace is sufficient for each of us.
As an added bonus, today my husband was able to book our flights straight to Durango, Colorado. They said it was cheaper to go straight to our destination than to go through Alabama....this is something we have prayed about. We will find out later today if our household goods will be shipped straight to Colorado as well, but my husband and I agreed that God is working out the details our move, one by one. He is showing us His goodness and faithfulness once again!!! We are getting more excited every day about our move. We know that if God is working things out in our favor, the job for Jeff is soon to follow. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and we will keep updating you on our move through this blog and email. We love you all, and are joyful in sharing our praises of God with you! Keep seeking Him for all your needs, and He will continue to show how much He loves you!
God bless you all!
In His Grace,
Sarah
As an added bonus, today my husband was able to book our flights straight to Durango, Colorado. They said it was cheaper to go straight to our destination than to go through Alabama....this is something we have prayed about. We will find out later today if our household goods will be shipped straight to Colorado as well, but my husband and I agreed that God is working out the details our move, one by one. He is showing us His goodness and faithfulness once again!!! We are getting more excited every day about our move. We know that if God is working things out in our favor, the job for Jeff is soon to follow. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and we will keep updating you on our move through this blog and email. We love you all, and are joyful in sharing our praises of God with you! Keep seeking Him for all your needs, and He will continue to show how much He loves you!
God bless you all!
In His Grace,
Sarah
Monday, February 23, 2009
One Day at a Time...
As I was riding in the car today, listening to Christian radio, I heard a sermon being preached about making our boast in tomorrow, or likewise, worrying about tomorrow. The preacher stated scriptures that show we should do neither. As I continued to listen, I got a familiar feeling inside of me, that feeling of conviction. I try to always remember to state that "if the Lord wills" we will do something tomorrow. Making bold declarations about tomorrow can be scary and somewhat dangerous, although I am forever abiding in the grace of the Lord. As we prepare to embark upon the most faith-filled journey of our lives, I realized that I should not make my boast in anything that is to come, except in the Lord Himself. I will always be glorying in the Lord! I know that over the past week or so, I have made bold statements about our future, our calling, and our purpose in Colorado. I have based these on revelations that I have received, but the truth of the matter is that God still asks me just to walk with Him, one day at a time. Despite anything that has been said, or that will or will not happen, the fact is that the Lord never lies or changes His mind. He is, and always will be, the Great I Am, even if I fail time and time again. So, if I make my boast in anything, it should be in the goodness and glory of my Lord.
Matthew 6:33-34 (NKJV):
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Psalm 34:1-3 (NIV):
"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together."
Proverbs 27:1-3 (NKJV):
"Do not boast about tomorrow. For you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but a fool's wrath is heavier than both of them."
Now, what does the Bible mean when it talks of boasting? What is boasting exactly? Well, "boastings" as found in the verse James 4:16, is the Greek word "alazoneia" which means:
"empty, braggart talk; an insolent and empty assurance, which trusts in its own power and resources and shamefully despises and violates divine laws and human rights; an impious and empty presumption which trusts in the stability of earthly things."
Let's look at what the word "boast (halal)" from Proverbs 27:1-3, which means:
"to glory, be praised, celebrated, to act madly."
So, looking at our most recent decision to follow the Lord....doing is not wrong, but glorying or boasting about what He will/will not do can be cause for foolishness and sin. I am learning a lesson today to just live by the Word of God one day at a time. Walking with Him means focusing on today, not boasting or worrying about tomorrow, but trusting Him for each and every step along the way AND allowing Him to receive the honor and glory for those things which He does DO!
I am thankful to God that I have learned this lesson. It is an important part of growing in my walk with the Lord, and although the conviction was quite heavy upon my heart, I am going to be making an effort to seek God's grace in no longer worrying about tomorrow, but focusing on today...and always giving God glory! I am thankful that God is ever transforming my life and heart, and revealing the error of my ways. I think I boast mostly because of two reasons: I want others to know the greatness of God, and also that I want others' approval in the decisions I make to follow God. The first is wonderful and the second is crippling. I need to learn to fear only God, and make my boast in Him alone. And follow Him because I know Him and His voice and not to gain approval of anyone else, or be worried about their rejection!
Thank you God! I pray that you would release my fellow readers from any anxiety or pride over the events of tomorrow, and to allow them to have freedom and peace in Christ alone. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thankful for His conviction,
Sarah
Matthew 6:33-34 (NKJV):
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Psalm 34:1-3 (NIV):
"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together."
Proverbs 27:1-3 (NKJV):
"Do not boast about tomorrow. For you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but a fool's wrath is heavier than both of them."
Now, what does the Bible mean when it talks of boasting? What is boasting exactly? Well, "boastings" as found in the verse James 4:16, is the Greek word "alazoneia" which means:
"empty, braggart talk; an insolent and empty assurance, which trusts in its own power and resources and shamefully despises and violates divine laws and human rights; an impious and empty presumption which trusts in the stability of earthly things."
Let's look at what the word "boast (halal)" from Proverbs 27:1-3, which means:
"to glory, be praised, celebrated, to act madly."
So, looking at our most recent decision to follow the Lord....doing is not wrong, but glorying or boasting about what He will/will not do can be cause for foolishness and sin. I am learning a lesson today to just live by the Word of God one day at a time. Walking with Him means focusing on today, not boasting or worrying about tomorrow, but trusting Him for each and every step along the way AND allowing Him to receive the honor and glory for those things which He does DO!
I am thankful to God that I have learned this lesson. It is an important part of growing in my walk with the Lord, and although the conviction was quite heavy upon my heart, I am going to be making an effort to seek God's grace in no longer worrying about tomorrow, but focusing on today...and always giving God glory! I am thankful that God is ever transforming my life and heart, and revealing the error of my ways. I think I boast mostly because of two reasons: I want others to know the greatness of God, and also that I want others' approval in the decisions I make to follow God. The first is wonderful and the second is crippling. I need to learn to fear only God, and make my boast in Him alone. And follow Him because I know Him and His voice and not to gain approval of anyone else, or be worried about their rejection!
Thank you God! I pray that you would release my fellow readers from any anxiety or pride over the events of tomorrow, and to allow them to have freedom and peace in Christ alone. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thankful for His conviction,
Sarah
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Getting Lost....Down A Familiar Road
I have decided to share a funny, but somewhat scary, story with you today. The night before last, my family decided to order pizza as we often do on Friday nights. We have determined that Friday nights are "pizza and movie night" and I almost never cook on this day of the week, unless I am making homemade pizza. Well, this past Friday, we ordered from a local pizza place. I looked them up the phone book, ordered the pizza and went out the door to pick it up in the next village. I took my son with me and left my daughter at home with Daddy. We arrived at the pizza place and it turns out I had called the OTHER store of that pizza establishment. They kindly called the other store who had my pizzas, and so I decided to make my way quickly to yet another village. Guam is a strange place because there are no direct routes between the major roads, so you have to know the side roads well or you can get lost very easily. There had been one other time that I had decided to cut across from one main road to the other, during the daytime, and I had gotten a bit lost. That time, I prayed to the Lord to help me find my way back to the main road (and I was running on EMPTY)...it was a little scary but the Lord delivered me out of the place I found myself, and with enough gas to hit the nearest gas station. I made a mental note NEVER to try to cut across on a road I didn't know again. I would take the long way around next time. Well, on Friday, I needed to cut across again....it was getting late, and my husband told me before I left to hurry home...he was hungry! I decided, I will go across on the correct street that meets the other road this time. Confidently, I took a turn at a major intersection and followed it in the right direction toward the other road. Before long, the road began to twist and turn through some really run-down areas, and it was dark by now. I looked down and my EMPTY gas light had come on again. I knew I could probably make it about 15 miles without running out of gas, but I was twisting and turning, and at one point...didn't know what direction I was headed in. Until I met that familiar place where I had realized I was lost before. I had taken the same road, was running low on gas again, but this time...it was dark and much more scary. I had carelessly left my cell phone at home thinking I was just going down the street for pizza. I was in a bad position. I had my son in the back sleep who had fallen asleep, he obviously didn't know that if we ran out of gas, we were in major trouble. You don't just knock on a door in Guam to use the phone. People disappear all the time here, and they never find the bodies. I began to cry out to the Lord and asked Him to please deliver me from this place again, even though I had been the one to take the wrong turn and forgot my cell phone, and GAS before I left.
Those of you that know me, know this is actually far too common in my life. I have learned to realize that it gives God great opportunities to show His grace in my life. Well, to finish the story....I began to pray hard and loud to the Lord. The hair on my neck was standing up, as we drove by men walking down the road...just looking strange. I suddenly realized that I had to make just one correct turn again and the main road would be right on the other side. I remembered, but I couldn't remember if I turned left or right. Last time, I had gone the wrong way first, and had to backtrack. This time, I took the same wrong turn. I had to backtrack again. The blessing was that when I first prayed, my gas light turned off and the guage had risen a little. I believe God gave me extra power because I believe I drove further than 15 miles. The whole time, my light was off and my guage wasn't moving. I finally got to that turn, and went the right way....and as I remembered, the main road was less than a mile beyond that turn. I praised the Lord loudly for delivering me once again from my own mistakes.
I still wasn't safe though. There is only one gas station on that back road, and it was a least a couple miles down the road. Just as I pulled onto the main road, my light came back on, and I saw my guage fall to empty. I went to the pizza place, and then the gas station....but there was no credit card machine outside. I was going to have to wake up my son and leave my car, and I was scared. I stopped and prayed again. Lord, help me make it back to base on the gas I have. So I prayed, and He spoke to me and said to go ahead home without getting gas. I trusted Him and did what He said. I drove home with the light on, but I knew I would make it because the Lord had told me to keep going, even on empty. I made it back to the base, put gas in my car, and went home to tell my husband the whole story since I knew he was probably very worried by this time. I got home and he told me that he figured I had seen someone I knew and stopped to talk. He wasn't really that worried about me. God had me all the time. Would I ever test the Lord? No, but I always know He is there for me when I really am desperate. Even if I am on empty and down a wrong road I have been down before, He is faithful to hear my prayer and deliver me from any place where I find myself. I just love the Lord for being so good. He showed His strength in my great weakness, and He delivered me and my son safely home.
I shared this story not to embarrass myself, but to show the grace of the Lord to rescue YOU out of any situation in which you find yourself. Was what I did seemingly stupid? Yes. I could have planned better, and I probably should have taken the long way around, and gotten gas before trying a shortcut, and not attempted this at night, and so on....Did I make a bad decision? Yes, a couple. But God proved yet again that His love for me, and His protection in my life overpowers any bad decisions that I will make. We are also challenged to live as wisely as possible according to the Word of God, and being wise is something I pray for consistently, because I am so prone to making bad decisions. But God can make up for the places I lack in my life, and sometimes, in these places...God can show His character clearly. Am I recommending that anyone take a shortcut through a dark unknown area with a young child and no gas...NO...but if you happen to fall into a bad situation, and you see no way out....do not hesitate to ask the Lord to save you. He will always be right there.
Thankful for my mighty God,
Sarah
Those of you that know me, know this is actually far too common in my life. I have learned to realize that it gives God great opportunities to show His grace in my life. Well, to finish the story....I began to pray hard and loud to the Lord. The hair on my neck was standing up, as we drove by men walking down the road...just looking strange. I suddenly realized that I had to make just one correct turn again and the main road would be right on the other side. I remembered, but I couldn't remember if I turned left or right. Last time, I had gone the wrong way first, and had to backtrack. This time, I took the same wrong turn. I had to backtrack again. The blessing was that when I first prayed, my gas light turned off and the guage had risen a little. I believe God gave me extra power because I believe I drove further than 15 miles. The whole time, my light was off and my guage wasn't moving. I finally got to that turn, and went the right way....and as I remembered, the main road was less than a mile beyond that turn. I praised the Lord loudly for delivering me once again from my own mistakes.
I still wasn't safe though. There is only one gas station on that back road, and it was a least a couple miles down the road. Just as I pulled onto the main road, my light came back on, and I saw my guage fall to empty. I went to the pizza place, and then the gas station....but there was no credit card machine outside. I was going to have to wake up my son and leave my car, and I was scared. I stopped and prayed again. Lord, help me make it back to base on the gas I have. So I prayed, and He spoke to me and said to go ahead home without getting gas. I trusted Him and did what He said. I drove home with the light on, but I knew I would make it because the Lord had told me to keep going, even on empty. I made it back to the base, put gas in my car, and went home to tell my husband the whole story since I knew he was probably very worried by this time. I got home and he told me that he figured I had seen someone I knew and stopped to talk. He wasn't really that worried about me. God had me all the time. Would I ever test the Lord? No, but I always know He is there for me when I really am desperate. Even if I am on empty and down a wrong road I have been down before, He is faithful to hear my prayer and deliver me from any place where I find myself. I just love the Lord for being so good. He showed His strength in my great weakness, and He delivered me and my son safely home.
I shared this story not to embarrass myself, but to show the grace of the Lord to rescue YOU out of any situation in which you find yourself. Was what I did seemingly stupid? Yes. I could have planned better, and I probably should have taken the long way around, and gotten gas before trying a shortcut, and not attempted this at night, and so on....Did I make a bad decision? Yes, a couple. But God proved yet again that His love for me, and His protection in my life overpowers any bad decisions that I will make. We are also challenged to live as wisely as possible according to the Word of God, and being wise is something I pray for consistently, because I am so prone to making bad decisions. But God can make up for the places I lack in my life, and sometimes, in these places...God can show His character clearly. Am I recommending that anyone take a shortcut through a dark unknown area with a young child and no gas...NO...but if you happen to fall into a bad situation, and you see no way out....do not hesitate to ask the Lord to save you. He will always be right there.
Thankful for my mighty God,
Sarah
Friday, February 20, 2009
Returning to Darkness
Last night, I was overcome with emotion and I began to sob. The reality had hit me that I was about to return to a place where I had been engulfed in so much darkness and disobedience. I am returning to a land where I am known as a totally different person than who Christ has made me to be. I am returning to memories of sinful things I have done to others, ways I have hurt them, and going face to face with my former self. I kept asking God, my family and my friend, who will they believe that I am? As I was beginning to break down in a moment of total desperation and probably fear, my phone rang. As is often common, God knows the exact moment I need help and sends it without delay. My friend said she had received my email during the day about all this, and she just had to call. She literally called at the exact moment I was about to begin total meltdown. God is so good! As we all know, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It is no different for me. The Spirit is lifting me up with great excitement and joy over the endless possibilities to witness to others about God's love and salvation, but my flesh has a tendency (temptation) to fear...I got in a place yesterday where I was asking God, "Am I ready for the things which You have planned for me?" I was thinking about how I had missed so many opportunities to study before the test (God's Word)....and how I wish I could redeem those lost moments. But I know that God is bigger than any weakness I could have. When I surrender to Him, He is able to shine His strength through my weaknesses, and His success is not based on what I am able to do...but what He can do through me!
God did tell me this morning that I need to remain humble when returning to the community. The fact of the matter is that my former reputation precedes me, and I may need to eat a lot of "humble pie." But this is all nothing compared to the work that Christ is doing in and through me. It is all worth it. Out of the darkest places, even a flicker of light is noticed....so out of my great darkness, God can shine His Light through me like a lighthouse. Even more, there might be an explosion of light out of the great darkness of my past. I pray that God would teach me to decrease so that He might increase in my life. I spend too much time worrying over what will happen to me, when I really need to be focusing on God's perfect character, and His mighty strength that overcomes all obstacles in my life.
I thank God for the precious time He gave me with my friend Julie last night. She is always there to encourage me, and I am going to miss her deeply when we move. I know God has plans and purposes for her life as well in North Carolina. He is going to do great things with her there, and that is where He needs her right now. I will just have to let her go for the time being, always remembering that we have an eternity to spend together with our Lord!!!
Well, this is definitely going to be a new chapter in our lives....please keep us in your prayers, and send any encouragement, words of wisdom, etc. that God lays upon your heart. We appreciate all of our brothers/sisters in Christ who are praying for us, and we know that we could not do it without your help. Please pray that God would work out the housing/land situation and secure the land He has chosen for His ministry. Also, we are going to be searching for a vehicle right after we move, so please pray about that for us as well. The Lord has given us a strange (but I am sure...wise) directive to get rid of much of our household goods before moving. Not sure why, except that we will be living with my parents possibly for a short time, and we will be technically "homeless" for awhile. We know that if we truly need those items, the Lord will provide them on the other end of our move. We trust Him. We love you all, and look forward to sending you many good reports of what God is doing in our lives and our community. Be blessed today in Jesus' name, Amen.
In His Perfect Peace,
Sarah
God did tell me this morning that I need to remain humble when returning to the community. The fact of the matter is that my former reputation precedes me, and I may need to eat a lot of "humble pie." But this is all nothing compared to the work that Christ is doing in and through me. It is all worth it. Out of the darkest places, even a flicker of light is noticed....so out of my great darkness, God can shine His Light through me like a lighthouse. Even more, there might be an explosion of light out of the great darkness of my past. I pray that God would teach me to decrease so that He might increase in my life. I spend too much time worrying over what will happen to me, when I really need to be focusing on God's perfect character, and His mighty strength that overcomes all obstacles in my life.
I thank God for the precious time He gave me with my friend Julie last night. She is always there to encourage me, and I am going to miss her deeply when we move. I know God has plans and purposes for her life as well in North Carolina. He is going to do great things with her there, and that is where He needs her right now. I will just have to let her go for the time being, always remembering that we have an eternity to spend together with our Lord!!!
Well, this is definitely going to be a new chapter in our lives....please keep us in your prayers, and send any encouragement, words of wisdom, etc. that God lays upon your heart. We appreciate all of our brothers/sisters in Christ who are praying for us, and we know that we could not do it without your help. Please pray that God would work out the housing/land situation and secure the land He has chosen for His ministry. Also, we are going to be searching for a vehicle right after we move, so please pray about that for us as well. The Lord has given us a strange (but I am sure...wise) directive to get rid of much of our household goods before moving. Not sure why, except that we will be living with my parents possibly for a short time, and we will be technically "homeless" for awhile. We know that if we truly need those items, the Lord will provide them on the other end of our move. We trust Him. We love you all, and look forward to sending you many good reports of what God is doing in our lives and our community. Be blessed today in Jesus' name, Amen.
In His Perfect Peace,
Sarah
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