The Cost of Following Christ

I would like to start by saying that when I gave my life to Christ, I gave up all my dreams and plans. I gave up trying to live life by my ways, and my rules, which had obviously gotten me nowhere. I had struggled mostly all my life with finding the right way to live, and failing time and time again, resulting in heartache and suffering for myself and those around me. The Lord had to break through anger, depression, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, stubborness and pride (to name a few) to reach the deepest part of my heart, and just show me how much He loves me. I realize now that He longed to be my Lord and Savior from before I was born, but He waited for me to accept Him. He did not force Himself upon me, even though it seemed at times as though others were forcing Him upon me. What I realize is that, all those times I heard His Word, it was really just Him trying to show me His love. I rejected it because I had a heart of stone, as the scripture says we we all do, before He gives us a heart of flesh. I rejected it because I could not believe that God loved me. I had always lived in fear of a God that I didn't know. I couldn't imagine WHY he would have allowed me to get hurt so deeply so many times, and WHY he was not there to rescue me as His Word said he would. I realized that the promises He has are for those who accept Him. When He says He will deliver you from all your troubles, He is speaking to disciples of Christ, not to the unbelievers. The unbelievers will constantly face troubles without peace until they receive Christ. They will fear death, and disease, financial crisis, and suffer emotional heartbreaks, barrenness, and many of the other judgments of God upon those who turn away from His love and salvation through the death of His own Son, Jesus. They will be gripped in fear of the unknown. They will live each day only to satisfy themselves, convincing themselves that they are really just "good people." God has something different to say. People are not good, they are born into sin, and they are wicked from birth. Your good works outside of Christ are as "filthy rags." Do not be deceived, God knows which side of the fence of salvation you stand on. I may not know, but He does, and if you are not on His side....you will be judged and damned to hell, no matter how "good" you are. None are righteous outside of receiving the free gift of grace in salvation through Jesus Christ. The best any of us can do to help you is to speak God's Word into your life, and allow the Holy Spirit to soften your heart to His love and message of the gospel. No person can save you, that power remains in God alone. And He will not save you unless you repent (turn away from) your sinful living, and accept His forgiveness, and ask Him to make you a new creation in Christ.



Once you do this, you are no longer the person or creation you were before. You are regenerated and given a new heart by the Holy Spirit, and God comes to dwell inside of you. You are given new purpose, direction, and guidance by the Holy Spirit. The sins you committed before are washed away in the blood of Jesus. The scripture says that we were crimson, but when washed in the blood of the Lamb, we become white as snow before God. We are justified, and then the process of sanctification begins. God begins to purify and refine out our old habits, desires, and sinful nature. He convicts us of our sin from inside through hearing His Word. He tests us (does not tempt us), and our faith through fiery trials. He begins to "refine us as silver" in the fire. Then, he leads us into eternal life with him, and abundant life here on earth.



Is this process easy? No. Is this process painless? No. Does it mean we have to deny ourselves and live by Christ's ways and for His purposes alone? Yes. That can mean doing things that are against the former nature of who we were. It means following and trusting God's voice to lead us into all truth. It means praying and doing things that are not of our own will. This is the cost of being a disciple of Christ. Those around Jesus hated Him, and He told his followers that the world would hate them also. He told us that we would be persecuted, reproached, harmed and killed for our faith in Him, and our obedience to His will. He told us that if we lose our life for His sake, we will gain it, but if we keep our life for our sake, we will lose it. I would rather gain eternal life and rewards, and lead others to eternal salvation in Christ than to worry about comfort in this life. God said that followers who are persecuted for His name's sake are blessed.



God shared a thought with me yesterday as I was driving. Let me share what He told me:



He said to think about the inside of an airplane. I have flown many times, so this analogy is very real to me. He reminded me about how the flight attendant will mention before taking off that in case of emergency, and total darkness (smoke) in the plane, little lights will make a path to the EXIT. I have never been in an emergency situation on a flight, but I imagine that those lights are NOT that bright. They are just a little path of lights leading to the place where my life can be saved by exiting a crashed plane! God told me that I, and His Word, are those little lights. People are panicking and living in complete darkness in a plane that is crashed and burning. That is the world we live in! Dark and getting darker by the day. In the event of this plane crash, people would trust those little lights to lead them to salvation, but in the world, people would rather stay in the dark and burning crashed plane than to trust those little lights. Even worse, those who would be led by the little lights to salvation would rather smash them out, break them, and curse at them than to believe that they know the way to the EXIT, and the brightness and safety of being outside of the burning plane! In the case of a burning, crashed plane, we would all believe the lights and rush to get outside! But in life, we do not see bright, flashing lights, nor believe they know the path to salvation.



Those of us that have accepted salvation and the call on our lives in Christ know that it is our job and our reasonable service to light the path for others. Christ has shown in scripture that we are going to be painfully reproached, persecuted, mocked and even killed for this purpose, but we love others enough (with the love of God) to continue to light the way, despite the cost. We are no longer afraid of losing our own lives, but more burdened in our hearts that others will never see the Light in Jesus, and have hope and peace of eternal life in Him. It is out of this love that we continue to speak boldly the truth about salvation in Jesus Christ, and we refuse to relent, even when we are put to shame by the world. Day after day, that means spending time in prayer and studying God's Word to gain strength, and to be comforted...but most of all to find out the will of God, and to do it, so that God's plan for salvation of others can be fulfilled. If we refuse to agree to His plan, we are writing off many to hell that God could have saved through obeying God's will.



When I first came to Christ, God asked me to surrender my life completely to Him. I did, and He baptized me in water and in His Holy Spirit. He filled me with love and strength I had never known before. When He asked me to surrender my will to His, He asked me if loved my family more than Him. He asked me to give my children (the gifts He gave me) back to Him for His service. I did. He asked me to give my husband (another gift) back to Him, and I did. I told Him there was nothing I had that wasn't His, and He could use any of it any way He chooses. Has He asked me to make very difficult decisions of obedience since that day? YES! They have been very hard at times, but He encourages me through His Word and through my brothers and sisters in Christ to continue forward in my walk with Him. I have held my son in my arms while he is having a seizure and prayed to God to heal Him, but I have had to wait for God to heal him in his time, despite seeing others be healed when God told me to lay hands on them. I have seen Him do wonders in creating love and obedience in my daughter, and I have had to forgive things that I previously thought were unforgivable in my relationships with others. I have had to make peace with others when I wanted to curse them. I have prayed for my enemies, and still pray for salvation for those who abused me and have hurt me the worst in life. So...I prayed for my husband to go to Iraq, because God spoke to my heart to do so. I was not doing it because of the money or my own desires, I was bowing down to my Lord, and honoring His will above my own.

I have already surrendered my husband to the Lord, if He wants to use Him or take Him, I have to agree and even ask for Him to do so. I would pray every day if he were gone that the Lord would protect him from harm while He completes His work in him, and that He would bring him safely home to our family. But if were the Lord's plan for him to die in combat, then I would be proud and honored by my husband's service to his country, God, his family, and those who were affected by the Lord's Presence and gospel message in his life. It would be selfish for me to pray to keep him with me...and I will not pray against what I believe in my heart to be God's will.


I want the world to know that I love my husband dearly, and I thank God every day for the work and growth I have seen in Him, and in our marriage! I praise God that He has healed us both from past hurts, and has allowed us to grow deeper together than we ever have been before! He has blessed our family financially, although we still need His help to achieve the goal He has given us of being debt-free. He has shown us what a bondage to money we have in being in debt, and He is going to free us from that burden, but that is not why He would take my husband away from his family. It is merely a blessing of obedience to His will. I have been praying for salvation for those I love for the past year. I have followed every command that I know to give every effort I can to the hope that they will someday come to know my wonderful Lord Jesus and receive eternal salvation in Him. I love them all, including both sides our family, more than they could ever know or imagine. I would give my own life for them in a heartbeat, if it meant them knowing Christ, knowing the love of God and having peace for all eternity, as I have already experienced in my own life. To live life daily in perfect peace is something I had never thought possible with the troubles and problems of daily life in the world....but I assure you, it is not only a hope but a promise and a reality for those who live in Christ.



Instead of posting the scriptures for today, I just wanted to share my heart with you all. I love you all dearly, those of you I know are reading, and those I don't know. I praise God that He is using this blog to change the hearts of man, and encourage those who are already in Him. It warms my heart (and I am sure God's) to receive comments about how this blog is speaking to someone's heart, and helping them to know God better. The vast majority of responses (99%) have been positive and encouraging. I pray right now that God would soften the hearts of those reading this, and encourage them to seek His salvation and His will. I pray that God would forgive all who have reproached Him through me, and have mercy upon them, for they know not what they do. Lord, give them the truth and knowledge of you, so they may know that You are the Lord God Almighty, and our Beautiful Savior. I pray that you would bless those who curse me and my family, and lead them in the way of Truth. I praise you that you work all things together for good for those who love you and are called according to your purpose. May we all sing your praises today, for there is none worthy but You, O Lord. Bless my husband as He works today, and give us peace and patience as we await your decision about his deployment. Extend your peace to our families as well, as they also must live with your decision, show their hearts that You know best, and Your thoughts and ways are higher than ours. Bless his mother and father in the name of Jesus. Bless my family for surrendering their desire to keep us near to them, as they understand that You will take us where you desire for us to go. I pray in Your precious and holy name, Jesus. Amen.



Seeking His will,



Sarah