Facing Failure...In Christ

Awww....failure. Who really wants to talk about it? Most people want to believe that they will be successful in whatever they attempt to do in life. Many already know the harsh reality of failure, or have been deeply hurt by it. Some give up on life, some become depressed and believe they are worthless losers, some just muttle through one failure after another, some take it with pride and dignity (pretending they never failed at all), and some do not know which way to turn when faced with failure in their lives. I could probably safely say that I have dealt with failure in all of these ways.

When we humbly come to Christ and admit our failures (sins) in life, we ask for His forgiveness and He gives us a wonderful promise in scripture:

Romans 8:28 (NKJV):

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren."

He promises to work all thing together for good in the lives of those who love Him. This means that even our failures can work for good in our lives. The human mind does not comprehend how that would be possible, but by the Spirit of God, we can gain understanding of what God means. Sometimes, He even allows us to fail so He can bring about good in our lives. I have a hard time wrapping my heart around this scripture sometimes, although I believe all of God's Word is inerrant and true. The practical application of this truth can be difficult at times to accept.

As a little background, I spent most of my life being depressed over failures, both real and imagined. I recently learned through study of God's Word that I also struggle with a fear of failure (both real and imagined) which is called "anxiety." God has revealed this battle to me lately, along with revealing that I am not willing or accepting of failure in my life. I just don't consider failing to be an option. I read an article today from a Christian magazine and it said that this problem I have is there because of pride in my life. I agree, as hard as it may be to admit that.

Today, I was walking home from school with my daughter and the Lord spoke something profoudn to me. This is really silly to some, but real to me....my daughter is having Red Ribbon Week at school and each day they wear a different article of clothing. Well, today, I did "crazy sock day" and it was not that day, but it was "inside out shirt day." So, I sent her in crazy mismatched socks, and her shirt was SUPPOSED to be inside out instead. Most people would think, "oh well," I made a mistake. I started praying over my failure to keep track of my daughter's needs at school. I began to confess all the times recently when I had let someone down, or forgot to do something (which happens all the time), or forgot my daughter's snack for school, or didn't memorize my scriptures...and before I knew it...I was in a deep hole of feeling like a complete failure in daily life. I have struggled with this for a long time. It may not sound like much, but it is very real battle in my life. I want desperately to remember everything, and to be everything to everyone. I have fear of man more than fear of God sometimes. So anyway, this is what the Lord said to me as I was confessing all my failures, and feeling sorry for myself.

He said "Sarah, I know you messed up again. I know you failed, like you have failed in the past, but I LOVE YOU just the way you are. Other people are going to keep track of your failures, but I am just going to love you anyway."

Then I felt a peace come over me, and I knew that the reason He has been allowing me to fail is because He wants me to know that He loves me even through my failures as a wife, friend, mother, follower, and daughter of God. He is going to love me anyway, and He is still going to allow me a place in heaven with Him. As long as I do not turn away from Him and His love, He will always keep showing me how much He loves me, and He will help me through any stumble, fall, failure, or mountain that I have to climb. He is the lover of my soul, and I DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT to earn His love and salvation. He gave it to me for free.

So without saying any more....I just want to GIVE THE LORD SOME PRAISE! PRAISE HIM FOR LOVING ME SO MUCH DESPITE MY FAILURES. HE LOVES ME WHEN I FORGET THINGS, AND HE LOVES ME WHEN I SAY THE WRONG THING, DO THE WRONG THING OR DISAPPOINT MAN TIME AND TIME AGAIN! PRAISE THE LORD THAT HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS WORD WHEN I AM FAITHLESS. PRAISE THE LORD THAT HE NEVER CHANGES SO I CAN DEPEND ON HIS LOVE FOR ALL ETERNITY TO KEEP ME, GUIDE ME AND COMFORT ME. PRAISE THE LORD THAT HE HEARS MY CRIES FOR HELP AND HE ANSWERS ME. HE CATCHES MY TEARS IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND, AND HE INTERCEDES FOR ME IN THE PRESENCE OF THE FATHER. HE COMFORTS ME IN MY DEEPEST TIMES OF DESPAIR AND GIVES ME HOPE WHEN I HAVE NONE. PRAISE HIM WHEN HE REMINDS ME IN HIS WORD HOW HE CREATED ME AND LOVES EVERY PART OF ME. PRAISE HIM FOR SHOWING ME WHAT TRUE LOVE IS AND FOR LETTING ME KNOW AND EXPERIENCE HIS LOVE EVERY DAY. PRAISE HIM FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH, LOVE, COMPASSION AND HUMILITY TO COMFORT OTHERS AND SPEAK TO THEM IN THEIR OWN TIMES OF DESPAIR. PRAISE HIM FOR GIVING ME BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST WHO WILL CRY OUT TO HIM ON MY BEHALF WHEN I FEEL TOO WEAK TO DO SO MYSELF. PRAISE HIM THAT HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME AND I NEVER HAVE TO BE AFRAID OR DISCOURAGED, NOT EVEN TO FAIL. EVEN IF I FAIL TIME AND TIME AGAIN, I PRAISE THE LORD THAT HE NEVER FAILS ME.

Redeemed in the blood of Christ,

Sarah