Walking by Faith Not by Sight

Hmmm...what to say. So much has happened in the past few months that I would not even begin to know what to say about it. I have been on yet another leg of an amazing journey walking side by side with the Lord. The last blog I wrote told of what it was like to arrive in God's country (Colorado) and be overwhelmed by sights, sounds, and people around me. God has certainly chosen an amazing place for a new revelation of Himself to me and my family. We have been down a rocky road here, but I am beginning to see that with each turn that we take, God is teaching is something new and incredible about His ways, His purposes, His faithfulness, and His great love for me and my family.

We arrived here in Hesperus, Colorado and God was faithful, giving Jeff a job through a family friend. Within two weeks, a better job seemed to have appeared and Jeff accepted the second job. Within a month, his entire view on life, work, and family had begun a rapid transformation! He left the second job without having a third job lined up, but once again...through prayer, God was faithful and provided yet another job. Meanwhile, it felt as though we were in the eye of a hurricane. I say that eye, and not the wind, because even in the midst of change and uncertainty, God provided peace. I went to God many times admitting that I had no idea what was happening in our lives, or what direction He was taking us in...all I could do was praise Him and let Him comfort me, guide me, and in the end...I just kept hearing the Lord say "Wait upon the Lord..." Waiting has never been my strong point, and waiting around with bills to pay, mouths to feed, and emotional strife on every side did not seem ideal to me....but I know that the Lord's ways are higher than my ways, and I finally surrendered and just told the Lord "I trust you." The Lord had always provided me with such clear insight, direction and the constancy of His voice in times of trouble. Now, suddenly, His voice had gone silent. I found myself digging through His Word trying to find some sort of revelation, comfort, wisdom...anything to speak to me and get me through...and once again, I could hear the Lord saying "Wait."

God's Word tells us that the "just will live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him (Hebrews 10:38)." I keep believing that the Lord would ask me to put one foot in front of the other and just walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)." No matter what I saw happening around me, and how fearful it could try to make me, I was just going to hold onto the Lord and walk faithfully by His side. This included trusting Him with my children, my parents, my finances, my sustinence, my peace and even my sanity. In my life before Christ, I suffered deeply from anxiety, fear and depression. This could have been a dangerous place in my life with so much uncertainty encircling me, but that is where God began to shine...in the darkest places of my life. He began to show me that my very survival, my salvation, depended on Him. He began to show me how much peace He was providing to me and my family. He began to show me how He provided for us, and assured me that He always will. He has sustained my health and given me joy in pregnancy this time around. He is building relationships where they are broken, and He is healing those around me. He is at WORK ALL AROUND ME. But sometimes, in the darkness, we begin to focus only on ourselves. We begin to think that God is not at work, God is not answering prayers, God is not hearing our cries for mercy and deliverance. It was not until I went honestly before God and cried out before Him that He began to show me how much work was already done, while I was busy worrying and complaining. He told me that He will use us in spite of ourselves. When I felt useless, God was using me to bring edification, even healing to other lives. Now, THAT is God's glory...

My final thoughts are where I stand right now....God spoke wisdom to me the other day and said "To the degree that we surrender (to Him) is the degree that we will experience freedom." This whole time, God has simply been asking me to surrender more of my life to Him. He wants to provide me with greater freedom from the cares of this world, and continue to sanctify me of all filthiness and unholiness. Praise God that He is wiser than me. I would not trade or take back one single moment of being in this place with God. I have no idea if we are staying here, or simply being a "sojourner," but I am going to continue to wait upon the Lord and worship Him for His greatness and glory.

I pray that this testimony to God's all sufficient grace and wisdom has blessed you today. I pray that God will open your heart and mind to all He has for you....and that you will seek the fullest surrender to Him, that we may all be free in Jesus Christ!

Loving Him,

Sarah