Recently, the Lord has really been showing me through His Word how many different ways FEAR affects our lives, and the crippling effects it has on our FAITH. After an amazing night of prayer in 2007, I remember a good friend of mine, and a woman of God that I respected...telling me that I had been delivered from FEAR. All my life I had struggled with fears and anxieties (fear's cousin) about different things, what would happen to me, how I would live, what turn my life would take next...I was afraid of other things too, such as people attacking me, invaders of our home...I was afraid to walk to my car at night, I was afraid to go to sleep for most of my life. I was crippled by fear of things, fear of people, and fear of what could happen to me.
I remember that night, after having an amazing night of prayer and being baptized in the Holy Spirit, I felt free from fear for the first time in my life. I walked outside the little chapel where we prayed, and I said to my friend, "I am not afraid." You see, fear had become such a part of my daily living that I did not know or expect anything else. I just lived with it. It was a bondage to me and caused me considerable stress (and sleepless nights)...but there was so much to it that I still didn't understand. You see, I received the spirit of fear because (FIRST) I was not in a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ, I did not have peace with him. (SECOND) I was afraid of death and dying, so anything that threatened my life or health terrified me. (THIRD) I tried to control everything in life for FEAR that it would not work out right, and I would be left alone and suffering. And...I might end up dying because I couldn't provide the needed things for myself or my family. But the way FEAR has been revealed me to most recently is that it has controlled my life since I was a child in the FEAR of man. This means that I live in such a way as to gain man's approval. Now, many of you would disagree with me on that statement, as I have often rebelled in life and seemed to care very little about other's thoughts or opinions, but the truth is that I have lived with such a fear of man that it controls and grips every part of my life. It is fear of man that is driving many of my decisions, not the fear of God.
Through recent Bible study with my beloved husband, Jeff, God has revealed this stronghold on my life and is showing me the freedom that lies on the other side...when I fear God above man and give Him the exclusive rights to make decisions in my life, no matter what those around me think I should be doing. It is the freedom that I have always desired, yet never knew how to have. I know the scripture that says we are not given a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love, and of a sound mind. Well, the sound mind, the power, the love - they all come from trusting Jesus alone as my Source and my Provider. I have been gripped in this fear of man for so long that I didn't even know it was the source of so many of my anxieties in life. I wanted to please and gain favor from those around me, and I wanted them to show their approval of me.
Today, I declare I am FREE from this fear of rejection, need for approval, and fear of man's opinions. God is the on the throne of my life, and He is the ruler of me. He is my Lord, meaning my Master in all things. As I have been studying how Paul was led by the Spirit to go on missionary trips in the book of Acts, and I meditate upon how the Spirit spoke to and led Paul, I begin to see similarities between Paul and myself. He loved his fellow men, the Jews, but they often rejected the message of salvation through Jesus Christ, and I am sure he felt pain over their rejection. But instead of allowing it to control him and lead his decisions, he leaned on the Lord to make those decisions for him. He went places because the Lord told him to. He left places because the Lord said his time was over. He followed the Lord in preaching the gospel to the Jews and then the Gentiles (not his people by birth). I am sure there were those who would have loved for him to do what THEY wanted him to do, but he had such a committment to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, that he did not allow their desires to overcome his fear of God. He allowed God to be on the throne of his life, and I am going to do the same.
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (NKJV):
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."
Philippians 3:12-16 (NKJV):
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to that degree that we have already attained, let us walk by that same rule, let us be of the same mind."
God bless you all!
Sarah
