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Deuteronomy 31:8

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns

About Me

McAlester, Oklahoma, United States

Friday, February 20, 2009

Returning to Darkness

Last night, I was overcome with emotion and I began to sob. The reality had hit me that I was about to return to a place where I had been engulfed in so much darkness and disobedience. I am returning to a land where I am known as a totally different person than who Christ has made me to be. I am returning to memories of sinful things I have done to others, ways I have hurt them, and going face to face with my former self. I kept asking God, my family and my friend, who will they believe that I am? As I was beginning to break down in a moment of total desperation and probably fear, my phone rang. As is often common, God knows the exact moment I need help and sends it without delay. My friend said she had received my email during the day about all this, and she just had to call. She literally called at the exact moment I was about to begin total meltdown. God is so good! As we all know, the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It is no different for me. The Spirit is lifting me up with great excitement and joy over the endless possibilities to witness to others about God's love and salvation, but my flesh has a tendency (temptation) to fear...I got in a place yesterday where I was asking God, "Am I ready for the things which You have planned for me?" I was thinking about how I had missed so many opportunities to study before the test (God's Word)....and how I wish I could redeem those lost moments. But I know that God is bigger than any weakness I could have. When I surrender to Him, He is able to shine His strength through my weaknesses, and His success is not based on what I am able to do...but what He can do through me!

God did tell me this morning that I need to remain humble when returning to the community. The fact of the matter is that my former reputation precedes me, and I may need to eat a lot of "humble pie." But this is all nothing compared to the work that Christ is doing in and through me. It is all worth it. Out of the darkest places, even a flicker of light is noticed....so out of my great darkness, God can shine His Light through me like a lighthouse. Even more, there might be an explosion of light out of the great darkness of my past. I pray that God would teach me to decrease so that He might increase in my life. I spend too much time worrying over what will happen to me, when I really need to be focusing on God's perfect character, and His mighty strength that overcomes all obstacles in my life.

I thank God for the precious time He gave me with my friend Julie last night. She is always there to encourage me, and I am going to miss her deeply when we move. I know God has plans and purposes for her life as well in North Carolina. He is going to do great things with her there, and that is where He needs her right now. I will just have to let her go for the time being, always remembering that we have an eternity to spend together with our Lord!!!

Well, this is definitely going to be a new chapter in our lives....please keep us in your prayers, and send any encouragement, words of wisdom, etc. that God lays upon your heart. We appreciate all of our brothers/sisters in Christ who are praying for us, and we know that we could not do it without your help. Please pray that God would work out the housing/land situation and secure the land He has chosen for His ministry. Also, we are going to be searching for a vehicle right after we move, so please pray about that for us as well. The Lord has given us a strange (but I am sure...wise) directive to get rid of much of our household goods before moving. Not sure why, except that we will be living with my parents possibly for a short time, and we will be technically "homeless" for awhile. We know that if we truly need those items, the Lord will provide them on the other end of our move. We trust Him. We love you all, and look forward to sending you many good reports of what God is doing in our lives and our community. Be blessed today in Jesus' name, Amen.

In His Perfect Peace,

Sarah

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Fall in Love with Jesus Christ

Psalm 21:1-3 (NKJV):

"The king shall have joy in Your strength, O Lord; And in your salvation how greatly he will rejoice! You have given him his heart's desire, And not withheld the request of his lips. Selah. For You meet him with the blessings of goodness; You set a crown of pure gold upon his head."

Song of Solomon 1:2-3 (NKJV):

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth--For your love is better than wine. Because of the fragrance of your good ointments, Your name is ointment poured forth; Therefore, virgins love you."

The joy of the Lord is something amazing that cannot be explained completely to another person! I never knew what it meant to experience the "joy of the Lord" until I became a true believer in Christ, and accepted His sacrifice for my sins. After receiving peace with God, I suddenly became inexplicably JOYFUL. This was quite a contrast from my former life is depression, which almost led to suicide several times. I came bursting out of the dark pit where I had lived the majority of my life, and I suddenly found things daily to have simple joy in! For instance, just watching my children play and interact with one another brings a warmness to my heart. Or watching my husband smile and just enjoy being with me is truly joyful. But the most joy comes just from being in God's holy Presence. I love praying and talking to God as a friend, and hearing him answer in ways I never thought of. He is always creative in His purposes, and He never ceases to amaze me from day to day. He makes like worth living. When I am in fellowship with Him, everything else could be going wrong, and I would just be joyful anyway. This past year, when I suffered miscarriage, marital stress, and countless other trials including a fever that endangered my life, and my son's diagnosis of epilepsy, I found that the joy of the Lord was my strength. Just falling back on my relationship with Him seemed to make it all better because I grew deeper in my knowledge of His goodness and grace in every area of my life. His grace truly is sufficient for our every need. I thank God that I did not walk through the past year without Him by my side. He is truly the love of my life, and my husband knows that this does not place him below Christ, but rather in a triangle as we seek God together. I am in love with Christ....there I said it, and I'll keep saying it over and over again.

Just think of what it feels like to be in love. You talk to that person at every chance, stay up late thinking about them, wake up early thinking about them, do anything to be with them....and so forth. You might write love letters, or daydream of ways to please them. You find that the rest of the world around you just fades away into the darkness. You just can't help the joy you feel in thinking of all the ways that this person is perfect and loveable. Well, that is how I feel about Jesus Christ. I LONG to be with Him every day, and on the days when I get busy and don't spend time with Him, I miss him terribly. But I know that He was with me all day anyway!

So let me ask you, are you in love with Jesus Christ? Do you realize the magnitude of what it took for Him to save you, and thus pledge your eternal gratefulness to Him? Have you experienced personal touches in your life from the King of Kings which let you know that He is near? If you haven't, it is not too late. We cannot fall in love by our own strength with God, but in His perfect grace, He is capable of giving us the ability to fall in love with Him. All you have to do is open your heart, and ask Him to help you fall in love with him....possibly all over again (if you once were there, but aren't now). He is listening and inclining His ear to your prayers when they are asking Him to be closer to you....but be ready because He will bring you to fall in love with Him in his ways, not yours. You simply have to be willing to surrender to His power, glory and grace in your life, and not resist his love for you any longer.

I pray today that God would open your heart to receive the fullness of His love (mercy) in your life. I pray that He would cause you to fall in love with Him as never before, and that the joy of the Lord truly would be your strength. I pray that God blesses you with knowledge of Himself through His Word, in Jesus' name. Amen.

In Love with the Lord,

Sarah

Monday, February 16, 2009

I Thank God for You...

I would like to take a quick moment in my life to thank all those who sent comments yesterday and encouraging words. I would also like to share that I understand that not everyone who received an email or blog post yesterday, or visited this site, will understand what was said. It is questionable whether I should have shared quite so much of God's revelation to me, but I get excited when God speaks....perhaps this is a weakness, but I believe to mostly benefit my life. I just can't help myself when I have spent time with the Lord of Lords, and He has shown me something magnificent. I understand that I am the only one who knows what my relationship with the Lord is all about, so I just thank those of you who with blind faith were supportive. I agree with those who stated, if it is God, then it will come to pass. Absolutely. We are in a place where we are believing (having faith) in what was heard, and we are putting works to our faith. There a couple of scriptures I wanted to share this morning:

John 10:14 (NKJV):

"I am the good sheperd; and I know my sheep, and am known by My own."

Acts 5:38-39 (NKJV):

"And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it--lest you even be found to fight against God.

1 John 4:1-3 (NKJV):

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which have heard was coming, and now is already in the world."

Joel 2:23-29 (NKJV):

"Be glad then you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for he has given you the former rain faithfully, And he will cause the rain to come down on you--The former rain, And the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors will be full of wheat, and vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. So I will restore to you the years the swarming locust have eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; And my people will never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame. And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My spirit on all flesh; Your sons and daughters shall prophesy, Your old men will dream dreams, Your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants, I will pour out My Spirit in those days."

I pray today that God would open your hearts, and that you too would obedient to listen to the Spirit of God within you (if you are a believer) as He reveals the plans and purposes for your own life. I pray that you be obedient to His Word, and the leading of the Holy Spirit, so together we might bring in the greatest harvest of souls this world has ever seen! May God bless you in Jesus' name. Amen.

His servant,

Sarah

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Move of God...

My faithful and loving family, friends, and readers. My husband, myself and my children have some very exciting news to share with all of you. We will be moving to the beautiful state of Colorado, often referred to as God's country. We will be making the move in the last week of March, or first week of April.

But the bigger news is that this is a move of God's will and because of His divine revelation to us. The Lord put it in my husband's heart over a year ago the idea to get out of the military and move to Colorado. When I first came to Christ, I wanted to be back with my family so much that I wanted to leave my husband and move home (whether my parents knew that or not, I am not sure). We almost got divorced because of my great desire to be with my parents. After committing my life to Christ and deciding to let Him rule and reign in every part of my life in 2007, the Lord began to work in my heart through this need to return home. After awhile, I surrendered my desire to return home to the Lord, and excitedly told Him I would go anywhere He called us to go, and I would be faithful in my walk with Him. For awhile, I looked in every direction, waiting for an answer as to where we would head next - would it be stateside, overseas, Europe, Japan, WHERE in the world was God going to send us WITH the military. Meanwhile, my husband kept talking about getting OUT of the military and it was a thought that I was not really comfortable with....the military paid our bills. It provides us with medical insurance, food on the table, and a warm place to live in....free of charge. The military has the capability to send us to far off lands that we have never dreamed of before for "missionary" work. I was sure that the military was the place for us to be, so I just waited on the Lord for an answer or direction. My husband and I faithfully began praying over our situation for the whole next year.

I believe it was in August when my mind began to realize that God was calling us to get out of the military. While I was driving in my car one day and praising God, and praying, God began to show me a vision in my mind of what was to come for us. It was so powerful that it felt like it took my breath away just seeing it in my mind. My heart was immediately FILLED with joy and I began to praise God loudly, shouting in the car, and crying. I just KNEW that it was our life unfolding before us, as God has shown me so many other visions and given me knowledge about other people's lives to come....I was so excited that the vision was finally about US. He showed me the most amazingly clear images of us living in secluded ranch location of at least 30 acres, with small modular home, and a pond, a barn, and several outbuildings. He showed me that we would be able to look out the windows and see the La Plata Mountain range. It was absolutely amazing to see in my mind. My breath truly was taken away in that moment. This time of vision lasted for about 20-25 minutes, probably one of the longest visions I have ever experienced, and it happened while I was driving (but we were safe, God is good!) I went immediately home and began to pour out the vision that I had seen to my husband. He looked me very in a very casual way and said, "I have been wanting to go to Colorado all along." At this time, I knew the vision was true, but we know that God has His own timeline, so I did not think that this would happen anytime soon. I thought that it must be a future revelation, and that ten years down the road or more, we would find ourselves living in that place doing the kind of ministry that God had shown me.

So, we continued to pray harder and harder, and with increasing passion. Jeff decided that he did not want to stay in his current career field, and he told me that if he did not get a NEW career in the military, we would get out. This was hard for me to accept. I prayed fervently over the decision making process of him submitting his retraining packet. We asked our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to pray with us the whole time as well. I remember one day, I was at the church with a sister getting ready to pray, and we were talking about the things that were happening, etc. She said to me something about moving to Colorado (she is gifted prophetically) and I told her my vision of eventually moving back there. She said no more and we kept praying, but I wondered if it was going to be soon. Waiting for the retraining decision was long and difficult, but in the end, he was denied to receive new training. The thought of getting out NOW became heavier as Jeff began to really seek out employment outside the military. One day, I was praying and the Lord said clearly to me "Pray that you would GO HOME." I told Jeff immediately because the revelation shocked me. Here I was, fully prepared to stay in the military and travel to foreign lands in Jesus' name, and He was telling me to go home to Colorado. I thought, "Right now????" But the Lord pushed in on me harder, and I began to feel a great burden to pray that we would go "home." The last month or two have been a flash in our minds, and God has moved so quickly. We have fasted and prayed, and asked the Lord several times what to do. Jeff put out probably 60 applications and resumes to different companies all over the US - we figured the way home might be roundabout, so we kept our options open. NOTHING happened. No response. So I figured in my own mind, well, this must not be the time. Maybe we go later.

But Jeff was persistent in continuing to apply. He had several very promising job prospects come up, but one went on a hiring freeze (which should almost be over), another couldn't wait for him until April (when we separate), and so forth. One problem after another...just bad timing right, with the economy??? NOT in God's eyes. As we prayed through the process, one day the Lord spoke to me again and said "Are you willing to go and obey me, even if Jeff does not have a job?" This was a real test of my faith. The economy is crashing, all around me I see destruction and downfall, and the Lord wants us to make a move to Colorado with NO job lined up. This is borderline crazy in the world's way of thinking. But God knows what is happening with the economy, and He knows His plans for us, plans not to harm us but to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). So I went to Jeff again and gave Him the revelation. He had a hard time with it. I had already told the Lord that I would go with or without a job, I trust in my Lord's character as Jehovah Jihre, the Lord our Provider. But the Lord also spoke to me that He needed to speak directly into Jeff's heart and let Jeff lead this family wherever we go.

So...Jeff and I still decided to go ahead and file for an extension in the military for one more year, due to a lack of employment opportunity. Smart, right? Not in God's eyes. The moment Jeff began to seek the signature of His commander, my stomach got sick. I KNEW we had been disobedient and not followed the Lord's direction in our lives, but I knew it was going to take a miracle of God to give my husband the faith to change his mind. So, it took a few days for the paperwork to move through the channels, all the while, I could hear the Lord crying out to me saying "I didn't tell you to do that." It hurt me that I was disobeying my Lord, my best friend, and the love of my life....and WHY, because of my own fear and lack of trust. That final morning, we found out the paperwork was ready to be turned in for the extension. I couldn't take the heartache I had any longer...I told Jeff my thoughts, and told him we might be making a mistake to extend. And I WAS the one who originally was so bent on staying IN the military. What a change of heart. I began to fast that morning and pray, and seek the Lord for direction. Immediately, He spoke again and told me that we needed to move to Colorado without knowing Jeff had a job. I said to the Lord in the secret place, "Lord, I HEAR YOU, but you are going to have to speak directly to my husband about this. I will not tell him this, you will need to tell him."

That afternoon, when I first talked to Jeff, one the first things out of his mouth was "I think we should move to Colorado without a job lined up." That sealed the deal for me. No more doubting, no more wavering, I knew the Lord had spoken that word with faith directly into my husband's heart. He had immediately answered my prayer. So we made a decision that afternoon to shred the extension paperwork and file for separation, and MOVE to Colorado with employment lined up. It was truly a faith based decision. We are trusting that God has ordained us to move to Colorado to start this ministry, and we are trusting that since God is with us, none can come against us, not even the economic woes of today. It is amazing feeling to trust God that much with my life. But I realize it hasn't happened overnight...it has taken months upon months or daily studying, reading God's Word, His amazing grace, His Presence and miracles in my life building my faith, His daily provision for my family. Walking with God is no passive matter. Walking with God is beyond anything natural, it is something that hardly anyone can imagine, but everyone longs to have. Daily intimate fellowship with Lord of Lords, King of Kings, answered prayers, provision, security and most of all - LOVE beyond all measure.

So...we are on our way to Colorado in April. By the grace of God, we inherited some money by the passing of my grandmother in December, so we will not be without provision for awhile...but it will not last forever, we must trust in God and not in money or ourselves to make this happen. Our lives belong to Him, therefore, He will sustain them. The Lord is currently leading us to the properties (two of them) that closely match the vision which I saw. It would be easier if I was on the ground and could see the land myself, but I am trusting God will make up for this lack by pointing us to THE right property, which we may have found yesterday....42 acre ranch land with a modular on it, with a barn, a pond and several outbuildings. It has the landscape of my vision and a view of the La Plata Mountain range right out the window. God is detailed in his visions, and that is proof that your dreams really CAN come true when you are following God's perfect will for your life.

God WILL get Jeff a job that will meet all of our needs....I just hope He reveals that part of the plan sooner rather than later. But God is good, we will survive and flourish in the land. We have started a website for our coming ministry called "Fire on the Mountain Revival Center." It will be a place of people getting to know the Lord one-on-one, in a personal, face to face relationship. We are going to be teaching people how to meet, and speak with their Lord without any interventions on behalf of man. It is a place for revival of God's people, and evangelism to a lost, dying and hurting world. The Lord is going to bless our ministry with provision that will shared with those in need, including food, possibly shelter, and other necessities for living. We are directed by the Lord to use horses in ministry for the healing of broken people, and teaching them to trust others, and God. We are going to have an outdoor ministry eventually where we take youth and adults into God's creation and teach them about the wonders of the Lord. We are going to be doing baptisms on site, I believe, and we will have a heavy emphasis on worshipping the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. It is a place of learning to live in God's Word, and not by any rules and regulations of religion. It is teaching people to walk by faith, not by sight, and to believe in God's grace as their only means of salvation through the blood of Jesus' Christ that was shed on the cross. The Lord has shown me that it will start VERY small in a one room building next to the house on the property, but it will grow to be international. There will be leaders that come from around the world to our revival center to seek the fire of God, to take back to their churches and spread it! It is a mighty vision of God, and we are just normal people with hardly any money, but a whole lot of heart for God. God will provide for all of our needs.

If this vision has sparked something in you, and the Holy Spirit is leading you to give to this upcoming ministry to help us get started. Very soon, after we apply for an EIN number with the IRS, we will be able to begin collecting funds for the ministry to get started. If you are interested in sowing a seed into God's vision for revival in this country, you will have an opportunity to do so very shortly. I do not want to collect money until I have made sure I covered the bases with the IRS....you know how it goes. But we will be an offical non-profit organization called "Fire on the Mountain Revival Center."

For now, you can visit my website (but forgive us, we just started it - needs a lot of work)....but very soon, I am going to start posting teachings in various subjects related to our upcoming ministry and will be giving updates on both this blog and the website about our progress. Please continue to check back in the coming weeks, and months:

www.fire-on-the-mountain.org

If you decide to donate now on the website, I will get you a receipt per the guidelines of the IRS for non-profit organizations. I am going to apply for an EIN in the next 24 hours, so perhaps it would better to wait another day or so to donate.

More than even MONEY, we NEED PRAYER of those who would like to support us as faithful prayer partners. We believe prayer is probably the most powerful thing a Christian can do, so we need a lot of it!!!! If you would like to be a prayer partner, please email me at wildcat_sarah@hotmail.com

If you have any more questions, concerns, encouragements, words from the Lord, anything to share with us, please do not hesitate to email me. I will reply to you ASAP! :-)

May God bless you all as you stand with us in this move of God, and we will appreciate the opportunity to stand by you and minister to you as well. God bless you!

In His Grace,

Sarah