As I have been doing, I am going to share my life as an open book this morning. I believe transparency in being a Christian is of the utmost importance, which is probably why I struggle with it so much at times. If it were easy to be transparent and let everyone see all your faults, fears, and problems, everyone would be like that...because it gives you great freedom from deception. When I committed my life to Christ last year, the Lord told me to just let people see everything about me, good and bad. He told me to confess my sins openly with others, and to ask others for their forgiveness when I have done wrong to them, even in the smallest of things. At this time, I was so thankful for the forgiveness God had given me and I was full of joy and peace about everything. I was lacking fear of man because I had such great fear of God, there was no room in my life to care about what others thought of me. It would be great to sit here and say I stayed that way until today, but that would not be the truth.
In my former life and creation, I was a liar. I lied about big and small things, and I was full of deception with the people in my life. When I got saved, God freed from the desire and need to lie to cover up my conscience about the things I had done wrong. God gave me freedom, knowing that my salvation lies in His righteousness, not my own. He gave me the courage to begin to live openly and with transparency in everything I did. I admit, many people did not like it, and some outwardly opposed everything that I was...but I was shining bright the light of Jesus and His message of hope. I did not have a lot of friends in the beginning of being a Christian, but I followed a deep call and purpose that God had given me to tell the TRUTH. Well, over the past year, things have started to decline. This year, while God was growing me spiritually, I began to make Christian friends and be accepted by people fully for the first time in my life. I felt I was doing something right and the benefits were being favored and honored by man. The truth is, God is doing good things in my life. I began to become prideful. I began to focus too much on what man thought of me, and not enough on what God thinks. I could feel myself going farther and farther away from God. He would keep saying to me "I am with you." He has been saying that to me for months to let me know He is right here. I have still been reading my Bible every day, going to church twice a week, doing two Bible studies, and praying every day. I have not walked away from God in the sense of turning my back on Him, but in the process of everything, I moved away from Him spiritually. I kept thinking, how did this happen? I am DOING everything to stay close to Him. But my heart was not where it once was. I was worrying about women not seeing me at Bible study, or not going to this person's party or function, or visiting so-and-so. I got so socially adept that it was crowding out God.
And then I began to sin because of it. Instead of just being truthful about the fact that my life was so crazy and spinning out of control, and regaining control over it by saying "No" to people. I just began to let people run my life. I became a people pleaser to the point where I was blowing off one friend to spend time with another...and there just weren't enough hours in the day to meet all the needs of EVERYONE! I began to get tired, feel dull spiritually, and cry out to God to help me. One of my friends was with me shopping one day and read an article about "People pleasing" from a Christian magazine. I began to realize that I had a problem, and it was affecting every area of my life. Was I meaning in my heart to be wicked and disobey God? NO. I thought I was doing good because I was putting myself in a position to meet more people and tell them about Christ. I did tell people about Christ along the way, and there has been fruit for God from this time of my life, so I know I am still abiding in Christ....but it began to be too much for me.
I just kept hearing myself telling my friends "I am just SO busy, I am sorry I can't do this or that." As God began to refine this out of me, I began saying no to people. It was one of the hardest things I have done. But I also started hiding from people that wanted me to do something with them. I would just not call them, or not answer my phone. Having spent most of my life being rejected by people because of the things I did, I was falling right back into the same lifestyle. Instead of facing the truth and just telling them that I couldn't do something, or volunteer for something, or be somewhere....I just made myself hidden. I even began to tell "white lies" (which are still LIES) to people about what had happened, placing the blame mostly on someone else. I began to shirk responsibility. I began to become disinterested in meeting with God as much because I knew I was sinning in my heart. I knew what I should be doing (sort of, but I was confused) and I would feel more distant from God. I even found myself lying to the people of God about things I had done or not done, and thinking to myself "I just lied to God's Spirit in them," like Ananias and Sapphira who got struck dead for lying to the Holy Spirit. This is dangerous ground.
So, last night, God convicted me deeply of my sins. I began to weep when I realized how bad I had gotten in my sin. I realized I had stumbled because I had just looked a sister in Christ in the eyes and lied to her. This was not the Sarah that was a new creation in Christ, this reminded me TOO much of the Sarah I used to be. I know there are probably many people out there wondering when the "old me" would pop up and I would go back to my old ways....because people don't just change overnight....or DO THEY? You see, even though I stumbled in my walk with Christ, I know that God is faithful to forgive me once again. In my old life, I would have kept it all a secret thinking "If nobody ever figures it out, then it will not hurt anyone" but deception always hurts people! God has convicted me, so that I may confess my sins openly to Him and others, and ask for their forgiveness. This frees me from carrying the burden of my sin, and gives me another chance to live a holy and blameless life before God. Not only that, but I believed God allowed me to go down this road once again to free me from the need to please man, which led me into sin. I never have had one malicious thought of hurting someone on purpose. I lied because I DIDN'T want to hurt others...but in the Light, all things become visible, and in God's Light last night of my sister in Christ....He did just that. It is amazing how one word can bring down a person. My friend looked me in the eye and called me out about my busyness, and how it had kept me from her. She did not know I had lied to her....although I wrote her and confessed my sin against her. It will be her decision through the love of God inside of her to decide when and whether to forgive me. Lying brings a great cost...loss of trust and possible loss of relationship with others. I believe that is one reason why deception hurts the heart of God SO MUCH. Our lies to Him when we deny our sin keep us from being restored to a right relationship with Him, and He knows the eternal consequences of the deception (self and otherwise) in our lives. It is deception that caused the fall of man, and made Him sacrifice His own Son for our sins, and continues to destroy our relationships to this day. Satan catches us where we are weakest, and this was always a great weakness for me. Satan knows that, and He used busyness to deceptively bring me back to a place where I would lie to cover up my wrongdoing. He is truly conniving, and the father of lies.
BUT.... God is an overcomer! God said He overcame the world when He died on the cross for my sins, and He will not let go of me, even when I am in within reach of Satan's destruction of my life and relationships. I wept last night as I admitted to God that I was wrong and I had sinned against Him, His body, and others. He told me to ask for the forgiveness of those that I had sinned against, and I have done this. So...if you have not received an email from me, then it means you are not one I sinned against. There is really one, the one I was confronted with last night (by the grace of God) that I had willingly sinned against because of my shame. As a compliment to her walk with God, I probably avoided her because I KNEW being the Presence of God in her life would convict me of my sin. I didn't want to be "found out" but God outed me anyway through His conviction of the Holy Spirit. Praise God! Today, I am free again from the grip of Satan and can continue in right fellowship with the body of Christ and God Himself. I will be praying and hoping for forgiveness, but I know that it is up to each person to decide whether to extend it.
But now, I have to trust God to help me change the things in my life which have caused the problem. I will need to cut back on activities, spend more time at home with my family, and stop being SO busy. I need to be obedient to God's voice and His leading in my life. I need to be trustworthy and true to others again. I need to learn to say "No" when necessary, knowing the result of always saying "Yes" to people, and the problems that go along with it. Turning this corner might be the first time in my life when I felt FREE from people pleasing and the need to be perfect in front of others. I need to let others step up and take responsibility, starting my walk with God, then my home, and then with ministry. There is such a shortage of servants in the house of God that often times, those of us who love to serve God end up doing way too much. The body of Christ needs laborers (all over) to step up and begin to serve, so the workload can be evenly distributed between all believers. Christ said that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. He prophesied this problem in the body 2000 years ago. Please step in your local body and serve God, not only to honor and glorify Him (first), but to help those brothers and sisters who need more time at home, and need to stop saying YES to everything because no one else will.
Lord,
I thank you today for your great forgiveness of sin. You truly are a merciful God, and your love endures forever. Today, I will give thanks to the Lord because He is good. I am truly sorry again for having done wrong to you and others, and I thank you that you have faithfully forgiven me. Please give the strength and love to those I have hurt through deception to forgive me as well. I pray that you would restore anything that has been damaged, and that you would receive all honor and glory in doing so. I thank you for never letting go of me, and loving me enough to chasten and discipline me. You say you discipline the son you love, and I am grateful for your discipline in my life! Without it, I would be lost and on my way to hell. Thank you for being the Good Sheperd and for using the rod to bring me back to the safety of Your Presence. Thank you for giving me the courage to confess my sins to others, and to share this experience on this blog, so that others might have courage to confess their sins as well, and be forgiven by You and others. Lord, I pray today for the salvation of every reader that does not know you. I pray that you would show them again through your Word that you give salvation freely to all who come and accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. They CAN live in peace, and joy in You. And you promise that you will never leave or forsake those your children. Thank you for not leaving me nor forsaking me, even though I have sinned against you. I pray that you would bless me richly with the spirit of Truth, and keep my mouth from uttering any falsehood from this day forward. Help me to be strong in saying NO to those things which are not ordained by you. Help me to acknowledge You in everything I do, and not to sit in the counsel of the wicked. Make me holy as you are holy. I pray these things in the precious and wonderful name of Christ, Amen.
Washed Clean in His Blood,
Sarah
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Unity in the Body
As many of you know who have been following my blog, I have been going through a pretty tough season of growing in my knowledge and understanding of the Lord and His plans for my life. I have to admit openly that this time has revealed many different areas of sin in my life, and I have battled discouragement and even loss of faith at times, but God is in control of my life, and I believe He is going to bring me through this spiritual darkness. He is faithful when we are faithless.
I am learning a great truth about how each different part of the body of Christ is important, and how much God desires unity in all parts of the body. He is calling us to join together and be united under His Banner. We need to become a unified army following His will, and edifying one another instead of tearing each other down. It can be hard because the pentecostals are very much into the Presence of the Lord, and His power, and the manifestation of the spiritual gifts in spirit-filled services. The more traditional and reserved denominations may look down upon the way we experience God, and follow His written will from the Bible, but everything we do is scriptural. In the same way, I have attended services from these other denominations where I feel completely limited in my expressions of worshipping God and hindered by the structure of the service. I believe God made a place for all of us within the body. He has created me to fit into the body with the gifts, and the heart He has given me. He has created some of my brothers and sisters differently with different gifts and callings on their lives. Does this mean that I will not worship OUR Lord together? Absolutely not. We must learn to be all things to all men.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NKJV):
"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak, I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you."
The Lord has really been illuminating scriptures regarding unity of the body, and how we are to act as Christians to shine the Light of Christ into the world. I was watching a television show today called "Trading Spouses" where a Christian woman and a New Age woman switched households. I get frustrated usually with some of the shows on TV, but this one caught my attention. I wanted to see how the Christian woman would act when put into a brood of sinners who had not repented from their occultic practices and New Age ideas, including mediums, psychics, tarot cards (divination), etc. I am sure it was a very difficult situation for this Christian woman. The show represents both sides of the story, as the New Age woman had to deal with the critical nature of the Christian women friends of the Christian spouse. The Christian spouse was tested to see how she would respond to being with a group of people who did not know Christ as their Lord and Savior. It showed the Christian woman having a meltdown when being confronted with a pyschic, and storming out the room. It showed Christian women treating the New Age woman as if she was straight from hell. I know the scriptures concerning the righteous sitting in the counsel of the wicked, and I agree with these women holding their ground in defending the Christian faith. But, I was quite disappointed with my Christian sisters who utterly rejected the woman who was clearly outnumbered, and did not receive her with love and compassion. If anything, they pushed her further away from Christianity by not conveying the love of Christ. Granted, I did not probably see everything because the show is edited....but there was a clear message. In the same way, the Christian spouse reacted very strongly (and in fear) of those who did not know Christ. She rejected them, not only just their sinful ways. We must remember that we were once counted with the wicked, and we are Redeemed by the blood of Christ, that is not of ourselves, lest we should boast. We need to stop rejecting the opportunities we have to shine the love of Christ (His Light) into the lives of those who do not know Him. They are simply blinded by their sin. We are no better than they are, except that God had mercy upon us and we received Him. We have not earned our position or salvation. Stop treating sinners as if they are somehow lower in status than you. Invite them to meet Christ!
I am not trying to pick on these women, they are my sisters in Christ, and I know that we all have our weaknesses, but it made a clear point about problems facing the body of Christ, and our effectiveness in witnessing God's salvation to a lost and dying world. Our own infighting and divisions are clearly not attractive to the world around us. When they see discord and chaos within our body, it looks a lot like the world we live in. We need to be living by the Word of God, which will shine Light into the world, and we need to be unified to do that! We are misrepresenting the gospel message of salvation and peace through Jesus Christ, and we are more worried about what the other denominations are doing than what we are doing to fulfill the great commission, and follow the two greatest commandments! I admit that I am part of the problem, and I am not presuming to be any better than any other person. We all need to learn and practice humility, and let Christ be glorified in our lives! Only then will we see the greatest harvest this world has ever known! Christ is bringing unity to the body this very day, and He is calling us to grow past our minor differences, and focus on the fact that we are all in love with and following Him! I encourage you today to look around you, see the people of the Christian faith who follow Christ differently than you do, and accept them in unity. I know I am going to make more effort to look into the lives and hearts of my brothers and sisters that seem to be unlike myself, and realize that the Spirit of Christ inside of us all (The Holy Spirit) unifies us once and for all. He is coming soon for His bride, and I want to be ready, but I want ALL OF US to be ready together so that He may receive a holy and blameless bride to Himself!
I know we are not yet perfected in His image, but we are being made like Him from glory to glory. However, this is what we can do:
Mark 12:28-31 (NKJV):
"Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, 'Which is the first commandment of all?' Jesus answered him, 'The first of all commandments is: Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Ephesians 4:1-3 (NKJV):
"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
These are the things we can do to love God, love one another, and be patient, gentle, longsuffering and unified in the Spirit, in peace! Unfortunately, I believe we have a long way to go as a body before this is a reality as a whole among Christians. I challenge you this week to follow these commandments and accept a brother/sister in Christ who seems to follow and worship God differently than you do. Let love and peace prevail in the body of Christ, and Christ will be glorified through us!
Lord,
Today, I thank you for your patience, gentleness and longsuffering with your often ailing bride. I come to you confessing that I have been party to division and I am sorry for causing strife in your Body. Please forgive my great sin. I thank you that you are currently working worldwide to unify Christians; those who believe in your holy name! Please continue to guide us as a body and help us to love You more, and love each other as ourselves. Help us to know what true and lasting peace can be found in You, and to constantly strive to keep unity in the body. I pray today that you would cast out any divisions, discord, strife or dissensions within the body of Christ, and let your Holy Spirit teach us your Word, that it may be written on our hearts and we will not sin against you. Teach us your perfect will, and guide us in how to carry it out. We need Your mercy, God! Thank You for Your promise to return and gather those of us who believe unto Yourself, and be a holy nation nation of priests. Please prepare us to serve and worship you for all eternity in a way that is pleasing to You, God! I pray today for your wisdom throughout the body, and that you would raise up, anoint, and guide leaders who can teach us Your ways of righteousness. I know that your Word says we do not need a teacher because we have Your Holy Spirit...and I thank You for sending Him to us! Please watch over and guide this coming election process, and bring Your selected candidate into power. The Word says that You choose and put into power the kings of the earth. I pray that you would give us a righteous king who will return the country of America to biblical virtues, and turn the hearts of these people back to you, Lord. Please continue to bring our country to national repentance, and turn away your anger and wrath from us. Many of us in the body recognize that You are planning to judge America for her great sin, and I pray that you would be patient and longsuffering and give us time to unite as a body and cry out for repentance among our people! May Your Holy Spirit sweep across our nation and humble all, that they would fall to their knees and recognize that You are the one true God and every knee will bow before You on the great and dreadful Day of the Lord. Thank you for staying your wrath until more come to repentance and salvation in your Son, Jesus Christ! I pray that you would quicken the hearts of Your people to pray, and continue to do Your will! I pray in Jesus name, giving You all honor and glory!
Fellow members of the body of Christ, I ask that you unite under the Banner of Christ and vote righteously in the upcoming election. This is a turning point in our country, so let's pray that heart and values of our country would be turned back to God's will! If you fast and pray, consider fasting and praying over this election 2008. God bless you richly in the name of Jesus for your faithfulness!
Seeking to do His will,
Sarah
I am learning a great truth about how each different part of the body of Christ is important, and how much God desires unity in all parts of the body. He is calling us to join together and be united under His Banner. We need to become a unified army following His will, and edifying one another instead of tearing each other down. It can be hard because the pentecostals are very much into the Presence of the Lord, and His power, and the manifestation of the spiritual gifts in spirit-filled services. The more traditional and reserved denominations may look down upon the way we experience God, and follow His written will from the Bible, but everything we do is scriptural. In the same way, I have attended services from these other denominations where I feel completely limited in my expressions of worshipping God and hindered by the structure of the service. I believe God made a place for all of us within the body. He has created me to fit into the body with the gifts, and the heart He has given me. He has created some of my brothers and sisters differently with different gifts and callings on their lives. Does this mean that I will not worship OUR Lord together? Absolutely not. We must learn to be all things to all men.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NKJV):
"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak, I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you."
The Lord has really been illuminating scriptures regarding unity of the body, and how we are to act as Christians to shine the Light of Christ into the world. I was watching a television show today called "Trading Spouses" where a Christian woman and a New Age woman switched households. I get frustrated usually with some of the shows on TV, but this one caught my attention. I wanted to see how the Christian woman would act when put into a brood of sinners who had not repented from their occultic practices and New Age ideas, including mediums, psychics, tarot cards (divination), etc. I am sure it was a very difficult situation for this Christian woman. The show represents both sides of the story, as the New Age woman had to deal with the critical nature of the Christian women friends of the Christian spouse. The Christian spouse was tested to see how she would respond to being with a group of people who did not know Christ as their Lord and Savior. It showed the Christian woman having a meltdown when being confronted with a pyschic, and storming out the room. It showed Christian women treating the New Age woman as if she was straight from hell. I know the scriptures concerning the righteous sitting in the counsel of the wicked, and I agree with these women holding their ground in defending the Christian faith. But, I was quite disappointed with my Christian sisters who utterly rejected the woman who was clearly outnumbered, and did not receive her with love and compassion. If anything, they pushed her further away from Christianity by not conveying the love of Christ. Granted, I did not probably see everything because the show is edited....but there was a clear message. In the same way, the Christian spouse reacted very strongly (and in fear) of those who did not know Christ. She rejected them, not only just their sinful ways. We must remember that we were once counted with the wicked, and we are Redeemed by the blood of Christ, that is not of ourselves, lest we should boast. We need to stop rejecting the opportunities we have to shine the love of Christ (His Light) into the lives of those who do not know Him. They are simply blinded by their sin. We are no better than they are, except that God had mercy upon us and we received Him. We have not earned our position or salvation. Stop treating sinners as if they are somehow lower in status than you. Invite them to meet Christ!
I am not trying to pick on these women, they are my sisters in Christ, and I know that we all have our weaknesses, but it made a clear point about problems facing the body of Christ, and our effectiveness in witnessing God's salvation to a lost and dying world. Our own infighting and divisions are clearly not attractive to the world around us. When they see discord and chaos within our body, it looks a lot like the world we live in. We need to be living by the Word of God, which will shine Light into the world, and we need to be unified to do that! We are misrepresenting the gospel message of salvation and peace through Jesus Christ, and we are more worried about what the other denominations are doing than what we are doing to fulfill the great commission, and follow the two greatest commandments! I admit that I am part of the problem, and I am not presuming to be any better than any other person. We all need to learn and practice humility, and let Christ be glorified in our lives! Only then will we see the greatest harvest this world has ever known! Christ is bringing unity to the body this very day, and He is calling us to grow past our minor differences, and focus on the fact that we are all in love with and following Him! I encourage you today to look around you, see the people of the Christian faith who follow Christ differently than you do, and accept them in unity. I know I am going to make more effort to look into the lives and hearts of my brothers and sisters that seem to be unlike myself, and realize that the Spirit of Christ inside of us all (The Holy Spirit) unifies us once and for all. He is coming soon for His bride, and I want to be ready, but I want ALL OF US to be ready together so that He may receive a holy and blameless bride to Himself!
I know we are not yet perfected in His image, but we are being made like Him from glory to glory. However, this is what we can do:
Mark 12:28-31 (NKJV):
"Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, 'Which is the first commandment of all?' Jesus answered him, 'The first of all commandments is: Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Ephesians 4:1-3 (NKJV):
"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
These are the things we can do to love God, love one another, and be patient, gentle, longsuffering and unified in the Spirit, in peace! Unfortunately, I believe we have a long way to go as a body before this is a reality as a whole among Christians. I challenge you this week to follow these commandments and accept a brother/sister in Christ who seems to follow and worship God differently than you do. Let love and peace prevail in the body of Christ, and Christ will be glorified through us!
Lord,
Today, I thank you for your patience, gentleness and longsuffering with your often ailing bride. I come to you confessing that I have been party to division and I am sorry for causing strife in your Body. Please forgive my great sin. I thank you that you are currently working worldwide to unify Christians; those who believe in your holy name! Please continue to guide us as a body and help us to love You more, and love each other as ourselves. Help us to know what true and lasting peace can be found in You, and to constantly strive to keep unity in the body. I pray today that you would cast out any divisions, discord, strife or dissensions within the body of Christ, and let your Holy Spirit teach us your Word, that it may be written on our hearts and we will not sin against you. Teach us your perfect will, and guide us in how to carry it out. We need Your mercy, God! Thank You for Your promise to return and gather those of us who believe unto Yourself, and be a holy nation nation of priests. Please prepare us to serve and worship you for all eternity in a way that is pleasing to You, God! I pray today for your wisdom throughout the body, and that you would raise up, anoint, and guide leaders who can teach us Your ways of righteousness. I know that your Word says we do not need a teacher because we have Your Holy Spirit...and I thank You for sending Him to us! Please watch over and guide this coming election process, and bring Your selected candidate into power. The Word says that You choose and put into power the kings of the earth. I pray that you would give us a righteous king who will return the country of America to biblical virtues, and turn the hearts of these people back to you, Lord. Please continue to bring our country to national repentance, and turn away your anger and wrath from us. Many of us in the body recognize that You are planning to judge America for her great sin, and I pray that you would be patient and longsuffering and give us time to unite as a body and cry out for repentance among our people! May Your Holy Spirit sweep across our nation and humble all, that they would fall to their knees and recognize that You are the one true God and every knee will bow before You on the great and dreadful Day of the Lord. Thank you for staying your wrath until more come to repentance and salvation in your Son, Jesus Christ! I pray that you would quicken the hearts of Your people to pray, and continue to do Your will! I pray in Jesus name, giving You all honor and glory!
Fellow members of the body of Christ, I ask that you unite under the Banner of Christ and vote righteously in the upcoming election. This is a turning point in our country, so let's pray that heart and values of our country would be turned back to God's will! If you fast and pray, consider fasting and praying over this election 2008. God bless you richly in the name of Jesus for your faithfulness!
Seeking to do His will,
Sarah
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